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Visited mom this morning in her AL apartment. She told me she wants to be a normal person again and she misses home. I appreciate the comments and advice on this forum, but it ain’t easy is it folks? May God bless us all, loved ones and caregivers alike, with grace and strength through our journeys.

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Amen❤️
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Wheat, good to see you again. No, never easy. Look up "anticipatory grief". I think that's what you're going through.

Consider getting some support for your own strong emotions as you watch mom decline.
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I agree with you Wheat. I often have the same feeling. I come back from visits feeling sad. My instinct has been to "try to figure out how to fix and improve the situation". Based largely on what I've learned on this forum, and with much thought, I'm decided that - thats the just the way it is. There's no fixing it. Part of it is anticipatory grief as mentioned. The situation is sad , for both the LO and the family. The aging process is sad and many aspects have no solutions. As is often repeated here on the forum, the LO's often are unhappy and its not possible to make them happy.
So I hear you. I think we need to balance our lives so we can balance out this sad part of life with our families/ LO's with the rest of our lives and future.
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Thank you Barb. People like you on this forum have been such a blessing to me.
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I do appreciate your kind words and encouragement strugglinson. Enjoy the weekend and, as my sister often tells me, take care of yourself .
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Thank you Caring. Nice to know many others share my feelings.
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Blessings to you as well. Emotional roller coaster. UGH. Sometimes it's great joy to have mom in our home and sometimes I want her to be somewhere else. Thanks for your encouragement.
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It's OK Wheat.
We can feel anything we want at any given time and the one thing for certain is that, like a weather front, it will pass.
Just allow your feelings and know it's normal to have them, and on you go.
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I don't like change. It takes me a while to acclimate myself. But at 74 I realize that tomorrow can bring changes that I have to deal with. I know that we are not going to be able to live in our house of 40 yrs probably 10 yrs from now, DH is 77. I know if DH goes before me, I will not keep the house. I know that my 80s will determine where I will be. I hope a nicevAL.

Of course she wants to have things like they used to be. We all do. Just because she says it does not mean she does not realize that things cannot be as they were. She just wishes. Just say "I know Mom" and give her a hug.
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JoAnn that is just what I will do. Thank you and everyone who has responded.
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It's normal to be sad, we wouldn't know what happiness is without sadness.

So be sad, then do what is best for you to get outta it, so it doesn't become depression.

I walk , or do what's I can do to keep my body moving.
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It’s very sad to see our family members grieving for their former independence. We are reminded of our own future and how quickly life goes by.

Thanks for being honest and sharing your emotions during this time. This is so much healthier than pretending to be Pollyanna and claiming that everything is fine.

Being sad in certain situations is an appropriate response. Wishing you peace as you continue on in your caregiving journey.
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Amen, May The Lord Bless ALL caregivers.

May HE come on the scene for you and lighten your heavy heart, give you strength, courage and comfort.

Great big warm hug!
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