My mom's been going through chemo and radiation for rectal cancer. She has a good prognosis. She hasn't lost any hair nor has gone through "extreme" side effects. She has a lot of discomfort with burning and chaffing also bleeding when she uses the bathroom.
She has ONE more day left of radiation! We're hoping the small tumor has dissolved into nothing, however if it didn't, my mom is old school -- she does NOT want to be opened up for surgery. She thinks that once they open you up -- that's it. So, we respect her decision to not go with surgery and just do the "maintaining", which is going to be another whole set of siblings trying to go back and forth driving mom here and there. So, ... yeah.
If you are religious, or even spiritual, would you mind saying a prayer for my mom that her tumor is gone? Tomorrow is the last day and she has three weeks to know if it has been changed to non-cancerous. She said she wants to die if the tumor is still there. I get it. Cancer sucks the life out of you, but I want my mom to have quality of life. Her worst fear is having a colostomy bag, because my grandfather committed suicide because he had to get one for his illness back in 1970. Times have changed though.
Regardless, please, if you can, all I'm asking is to just pray for her, or send some positive energy.
Thanks so much for reading this....
Thank you in advance.
Mom woke up yesterday morning...smiling! She said, "It's amazing! The pain went away!"
I HONESTLY believe that between this site and all of the prayers and many others who have prayed for her besides myself have truly made a difference. I read somewhere that her type of pain from the radiation itself may never go away. The past couple of days, she has gone out to dinner, went to family dinners and enjoyed herself, laughing and joking like she used to.
I'm in awe.
So, thank you. Thank you!!!
I'm so relieved. I totally understand that the lack of quality of life may want to bring some to that decision of 'turning the lights out' --- but what if there was a silver lining like my mom just had? I mean, what if that pain, that misery can slip away somehow? That's the scary part of it because she wasn't terminal. I can totally understand a terminal patient who is just going to keep declining and declining. And yes, part of me wants to keep her here forever, she is such a vibrant women.....except when illness brings her down unfortunately.
Again, just thank you.
I had the same reaction when I had cancer back in 2009.... I had wished I would have died on the operating table.... there is a lot of emotions going on, a lot of deer in headlights moments, and those darn meds which caused a whole variety of non-user friendly side effects. It was a case of the medicine being worse than the illness itself.
TheBoogs, your Mom will do fine, give her time, there is just so much emotionally for her to deal with, and she's from a generation where *cancer* isn't discussed, it's always hush hush.
I myself would not want this. Our Native Americans had it right, when they became to old that they felt they were a burden or could no longer contribute to their people, they walked off into the woods and allowed God to take them Home. I know I do not want to be a burden to my children when I can no longer do for myself and have no fear at all to go Home. As my mother back in the 70's had a life/death experience, she always told me never be afraid to die, that Heaven was truly our Home and we are Spiritual beings having a human experience and that Earth is just our University where we come to learn. Death should never be feared, when I took care of my dad for 5 years, he came to me one day when he was not feeling good, and told me he had no reason to be here any longer, that he did what he had to do here on earth and it was his time to go Home to my mom, who had passed away 3 years earlier. I remember telling my dad if that is how he felt, then by all means go Home to mom. He went into the hospital that same night, the doctor told him he was terminal, sent him home with hospice to help me and within a week he passed away. I am a very spiritual person and feel if they need to talk about it, then listen to them, give them dignity and assure them to have no fear!
The other evening I was wondering how she was. Glad I came on tonight and saw the post.
I want to thank you for your update.
Take care of yourself and please keep us posted,
Carol
Anyway, Litdogtoo, her last radiation went well, however she has to wait 3 weeks before they can let her know if the cancer has truly gone away. (PRAYING!) The only thing she complains about is the intense burning of her rectum and bladder, because her rectal cancer was treated in that area... She finally took a Percocet for the pain which mostly occurs in the morning and she's doing much better! In better spirits like she always used to be.
But I do realize that our parents go. I had fully accepted the passing of my dad when he died of bladder cancer 2 years ago. He was also my best friend. It's so STRANGE without him here! He was full of life, making everyone laugh and telling these crazy stories of the past. And when cancer took hold of him, it was a different person. And it can happen at any age! It's a destructive disease that I wish there was a cure for. Anyway, I prayed to God, asking to heal my dad as well as trusting God's will if He needed to take my father back home. I get it. And I accept it. I can't help but hope. It is my mom after all. Most children adore their parents, right? I think...?
But again, "God's will" is what I trust. But for now, I pray to God that his will leans towards life...just a bit longer and most of all, the quality of life is what's most important.
I am praying for you and your mom.
I pray that God puts his message of love and comfort in your heart and especially in your mom's.
But anyway, this is not about me, it's about you and your mom. Still thinking about you, but read a post above that read one parent wants to die, the other doesn't. Anyway, subject for another board, and prayers for you and your mom. It's going to be okay.
She has to be afraid. It has to be totally humiliating to have to go through something like that, not to mention psychologically/physically challenging. Her life has been turned upside-down.
She seems to be in good hands and tell her I will be thinking of her.
Hugs to both of you.
My heart is so broken over her broken heart. She's so scared and understandably so. I wish I could make it better or take her pain away. We were so incredibly happy months before the big "C" hit our home. So strange how things can turn so fast.
Thank you for your support.