We've had a couple of members with mothers who seem to fit this profile--not "mentally ill" per se, but with personality characteristics that wreak havoc on their children.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blorg/surviving-the-female-psychopath/202110/the-emotional-torment-caused-psychopathic-mother
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/surviving-the-female-psychopath/202110/the-emotional-torment-caused-psychopathic-mother
Error was found in the word /blorg/
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?
Here's what she said to me
Qué será, será
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Qué será, será
What will be, will be.
My Mom answered:
"You are so beautiful it is scary".
He also has ZERO relationship with his mother, my MIL. One of the reasons he became a psych was because he was so damaged by his upbringing (as was my DH). He wanted to know WHY. IDK if it helped him, but his talking to my DH has helped HIM to understand it's all HER, not him.
She caused so much pain and suffering. My DH is 71 and still feels like a terrible little boy. This doesn't end with that generation...my DH still struggles so much with his relationship with her and she's 92 years old. It will never be 'OK'.
I have NEVER lied to my DH. Not even by omission. Because I am sure he would never trust me again. He believes a husband and wife should tell each other everything. I think this stems from his Dad not knowing things his wife had done and said.
I don't think he will EVER be 'OK'. He saw a terrible, hateful marriage. He was beaten, (and I don't mean 'spanked'. but BEATEN by both his parents. He has a scar on his back that is from a belt buckle. Breaks my heart.) His father, before he died, was able to begin to be 'better' and died a better man. That was huge.
My MIL will never die. Her spirit may depart her body, but her legacy lives on.
Mothers and sisters too, and in some cases offspring.
Personality Disorders and narcissist work for me, maybe a bit of sociopath as well. 😕