Hi there. Quick story...My sweet mom is 75. In the last year, she has had sudden headaches. She has now had two MRI's, including one last week, that came back fine.
She seems fine. And is fine. And then, bam, suddenly she will get a splitting headache, can't move without wanting to vomit, can't eat or drink. She has spent the entire day sitting in a chair with the lights out. (This is not like her, she's an active, busy woman).
My internet research keeps showing migraines as a possible cause. I know they can be wicked.
But my frustration is that she won't go back to the doctor at all. My family are the type that you just suck it up/man on. Which is quite scary when someone is 75.
I've begged, I'm pleaded, I'm trying to reason. She just won't go. She shrugs it off to a million different things. My dad is well meaning but...well, he just doesn't know what to do either so does nothing. We are both standing around doing nothing and I'm slowly losing my mind to all this nothingness.
Maybe it seems silly but I don't really have a question for you. I just am asking for support, any kind of support. I feel so alone. I adore my mother, she is a wonderful woman that I admire tremendously.
Hopefully this is migraines and nothing more serious.
But if it is more serious...how do I live with the guilt of not doing more.
I mean, DO I do more?
It's funny how something like this happens and suddenly you really don't care about
much of anything. Little petty things, traffic, thankless job, wrinkles, who cares about any of it.
I just want to do the right thing and don't even know what that is.
Please, any support you can give, would mean more than I can say right now. Thank you.
Wishing you all the best.
I would like to suggest, however, another reason that Emanze's mother might not want to go to the doctor about her headaches. This might strike folks as way out there or a little nutty, but I'm speaking as a 75 year-old man, the same age as Emanze's mother. I don't think anything about my attitudes are unique -- I mean unique in the literal sense of the word. If have them so do plenty of other people.
She might not want to go to the doctor because, although she doesn't want to die per se and is not suicidal, she might have reached the point where her attitude is, if I die, I die. I just don't want to deal with a lot of treatment and a reduced quality of life in the long run. So I'll just wait it out and see what happens. And, whatever happens, happens.
I think younger people would be surprised at how many people from their mid-seventies onwards have this attitude.
That said, of course Emanze should continue to try to convince her mom to go to the doctor, and I like JessieBelle's idea of trying to get her to do that for you if not for herself. But there is no reason for guilt, Emanze. You can only do what you can. There's no magic formula to getting your mom to do this. You can do no more than try your best. And because you are trying/tried your best, there is no guilt that can reasonably adhere to you.
Good luck and best wishes to you and your family.
I have taken Imitrex 100 mg since abut age 30 as needed when I feel a migraine coming on; it nips it in the bud right there and then....all otc and prescription meds have risks but i am 60 and haven't died yet from the medication and have had liver and all kinds of tests; nthing is wrong and it is worth it to me to be pain and vomiting free. In addition to the imitrex (it might contain anti nausea properties I am not sure) the doctor can prescribe a chewable anti nausea medication. i don't believe in human suffering so i suggest using medication that works; there are other brands other than imitrex should imitrex not work for your mom.