His sister who is presently living in their mother's home feels he should be changing Mom's 'briefs' when he is there in his sister's absence, My husband would prefer to preserve his mother's dignity...He is not at all comfortable with doing this. But, his sister is...difficult.
Caring for my sister as she died was an honor.
why not go that route? I personally find it uncomfortable to do so for my father
although he doesn't seem to mind. I would never want my son to have to do that
if I had any other possible option.
My opinion, maybe its time for a nursing home.
Granted, I'm a woman who took care of her mother. When the first day came to clean her bottom, I had to make myself think what I was going to was not undignified (for Mom or me), I just did it. With disposable gloves, toilet paper, disposable wipes, and me projecting a matter-of-fact air, it only took a minute. Mom didn't seem one bit embarrassed and neither was I.
When it was over I thought, "Well, that wasn't so bad at all."
You cannot tell someone how or what to think.
If We were taking care of my DH Mom, I would take care of that for him. As I help my Mom, but would never ask him to assist her with personal things.
As he took care of helping My Dad and his uncle with personal things like that. I take care of the womens'
personal needs and he takes care of the mens' personal needs. That is our agreement.
Truly If I had children , I would not want my son doing those things for me. I wouldn't want my daughter to neither, but if I had to choose I would prefer the help of my daughter. Assuming I had the option.
I do not see how leaving his Mum in a wet or poopy depends is preserving her dignity.
I draw the line at changing either of my parents, but if I was faced with a messy depend and there was no one else to do the job, I could not leave them sitting in a mess. I would change them. We are not at this point with either parent yet.