Previous thread has been locked, just wanted to provide a brief update. I have reached out to the places BarbBrooklyn sent and have tours set up. Have also reached out to a few other places to see if she is a candidate for AL, through the brief intake the chances AL will work are slim, but they will keep it as an option.
MC "might" be an issue without medication management since they are closed off floors and isolation is a point of contention for my mother. As I was aware they also told me she may not fit in due to being higher functioning. Her functionally is more akin to AL, but the wandering, and hampered memory which foster a certain amount of dependence pose an issue. The AL places I spoke with are not entire closed off facilities, and the names I got would be out of my price range even if I was working and dedicated my entire salary. I also spoke to a couple of smaller end homes, and their prices do make them slightly outside my reach
Spoke with her PCP Doctor they are in favor of placement, but would like her to have a one-to-one for companionship sake to avoid her bouts of anxiety.
I will be seeking a geriatric psych to explore medication options or how viable it would be considering the situation. Her behavior at home is manageable, but the looking for people, not respecting boundaries will be an issue in placement.
I have explored some apartment options, and looked into how to go about getting split shift aids covered through NY Medicaid, I have an intake in March for that evaluation. I have a few places in mind, will be looking at them see how viable they really are.
I did want to say thanks for the information, took a step back because I did get annoyed with having defend my love and commitment for my family over and over. I spoke with my husband, he has his hardline and that is fine I respect that. I am prepared for the worst to come just providing an update to those that were kind enough to offer suggestions.
i wish for things to go smoothly for you, your family. hug!!
We do care.
Let me know if you need/want nursery school choices to look at.
You being a school psychologist would be very helpful with that!
They are willing to do an assessment, but they told me not to hold my breath based off the conversation we had. I already knew AL was a long shot especially with me being honest with them, going based off her worse day not the best. If I went based off her best then it would not be such an issue I think, but that is unfair to the staff of the facilities rather be transparent with those involved in her care.
Like I exampled to them she is one of those residents that is easy to please just time consuming. I understand they are for 24/7 care, but not a one-to-one companion service. That is more so where my mother is at, she gets lonely and bored very easily unless she has some vested interest in the task and all parties are involved. Redirection is requires a more active approach, since she still has some retention.
She is EO in terms of raw functional behavior, but memory is more so at the Mid to serve stage. As her doctor has put it to me many times, she is able to function based around her long deep seeded routine. We have explored medication in the past, her current doctor has been against it. They are more in favor of non medication interventions. She has also been my mothers doctor since I was a kid. My mom still remembers them and trusts them.
Either way I have to get a proper assessment on medication management, she will not last long without a care plan for when she gets anxious. They are not always going to call me, nor will it always be possible for me to come.
Wandering is a Dementia thing. The one reason I placed my Mom in an AL was because at my house, being a split level, she was pretty much stuck in the room in the lower level. (She could not do stairs and I had 3 sets) The AL was like a square. The hallway went around inside the building with rooms on both sides. There were comfy chairs and couches, book cases with books u could borrow. My Mom walked those halls a lot. Always coming back to the common area and dining/activity room. The AL had an outside area with a Gazebo and benches all around that was enclosed.
I think the care of a Dementia patient is beyond the care of a PCP. A PCP suggesting one on one care is not considering the cost to Mom. Because, you should not be paying for that cost. My Mom was also in LTC. By that time she was wheelchair bound but could scoot around in that wc. The residents were allowed to wander the building. They are not confined. They would find one resident sleeping on another residents bed in another wing and walk her back to her wing. If Mom wanders at night, there are sleep medications. There is also a night shift to keep an eye on her.
In my State ALs and MCs are private pay. Medicaid only gets involved when the resident has privately paid for at least 2 years. I was lucky, 5 yrs ago, to get Mom into an AL when they had a half price sale. It kept her cost just below 5k. Money ran out before 2 yrs so she was transferred to LTC with Medicaid paying. (Mom did pay 2 months privately) I see u have an appt with your State Medicaid. Be aware that their "in home" care may not pay for 24/7 care. Some States will only give a few hours. Can u be paid to be her caregiver or do they supply aides or do u go thru an agency that excepts Medicaid.
My daughter is an RN who worked in NHs with Dementia patients for 20 yrs. She was with me when we transferred Mom to LTC. After Mom was settled in my daughter said she thought I should have placed her earlier. No, it wasn't perfect because Mom will never be cared for the way you would have cared for her. But, my Mom was clean and cared for. On the whole the residents looked happy. I would visit and a staff member would be sitting talking to Mom. Others would tell me they had nice conversations with her. Mom was in her final stages.
So glad that you have made a geriatric psychiatric appt. Tests will now be done to determine where Mom is in her journey. What type of facility would most suit her. Kniwingcwhat type ofcDementia she has is important because of Medications.
Seems you are on the right track. Its just a matter of getting all the info you need to make informed decisions. Keep us updated.
As you will know from your last thread opinions here vary. Always pick up what works best for you and leave the rest. And speaking of varying, some here love the companies that are modeling on "A Place for Mom" and some hate them. The truth is, I like them and they have worked well for those I know. BUT they will hassle you once you sign up and you DO have to give them personal information such as the assets of the senior (which some prefer not to divulge.) Once they gather information on the senior they take you to facilities they think a match. For an instance, my brother's ex wanders. He has alcoholic encephalopathy and he will leave to buy spirits, and is not safe out on the streets. He has a place now which is assisted living with separate cottage and which is still a locked cottage to prevent wandering. PERFECT and he loves it and says he's their favorite! So it worked for him.
Now should you use one and then decide it is not for you (they are paid by the facilities in the area when the senior is placed) then just resign and when they call say "I lied; she's on medicaid". You will never hear from them again.
OP, do know that there was nothing against you in your first thread getting locked. More about us. When it rarely happens that our advise moves on into criticizing one another the admins, if notified by a trusted member or more, will just shut down the cause of distress to further comment.
I think this post of yours provides complete information. When that happens there is less back and forth trying to find out what the exact circumstances are. We sure do wish the best to you; am glad you are exploring what might work for the entire family. Do know you will all have grieving and heartbreak and some few tears around this. That's normal. Not everything is easily fixed. Adjustment takes time. I wish the best for you and your entire family.