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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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My mom can barley get around she has walker and continues to drink. I told her if she continues I will not be around to help because she will fall again: any suggestions?
Addicts will always find away to feed their addictions. It doesn’t matter if it is food addiction, drugs, alcohol, gambling, etc. etc. anyone, any age, will find away to feed their addictions. Even if you don’t enable. Even if you throw the booze out, or the drugs, they will still find a way. That’s the power of addiction.
It isn't clear to me - is your mother drinking to excess, or are you contending with her that she should abstain from drinking anything alcoholic at all?
It might be obvious that somebody with mobility issues who is 85 and has already sustained a fall would be better advised not to take anything that will make her still more unsteady on her legs (not to mention impairing the quality of her sleep). But. People don't like being told what to do.
If your mother is drinking more than usual for her, or drinking all day, or - God forbid - drinking and then driving; and it seems that she couldn't stop even if she half-wanted to; then you'd better consult her doctors about it and take advice about addressing her dependency.
But if she's having a drink or two of an evening as has been her habit forever, and no more than that - say what needs to be said about the wisdom of it, and then hold your peace. The battle is just leading her to be secretive and causing conflict which won't help anything. She's an adult, she knows the risk, you've reinforced the message: from there, it's her decision.
My mother is 95 years old, competent, drinks alcohol before going to bed every day, is a gambling addict, and a hoarder. I’m going through this now. I have to back off seeing her. I am told there is nothing you can do about it when they are competent. My mother was sent home by cab last week against my wishes. You can’t make an elderly adult stop anything. Don’t waste your time trying. I already did that. Now I back off. My mother had been in the hospital overnight last week. She has AFIB. The doctor said she’s competent and they can’t justify keeping her or placing her. That’s why I gave up trying. My mother barely walks and still manages to gamble and get her booze WITHOUT my help. She takes call a bus to take her to the grocery store. She buys her groceries,,gambles at the scratch off machine, and then takes the motorized shopping cart from the grocery store into the parking lot and down the parking lot to the liquor store next door. Then brings the liquor back in the motorized shopping cart back to the grocery and then waits for call a bus. Yes, she is a 95 year old genius that can barely walk and lives alone with minimal help from me. That’s how my mother gets the booze cwillie, .when there is a WILL there is a WAY cwillie
She has been drinking my whole life. She had to have surgery on her knee because she was drunk and tried to get up From sitting position on the floor, she has experienced many gout attacks and oh yes emergency room from time to time. For my own sanity if she wants any more help from me it’s either the booze or me. It’s just a matter of time before we have a catastrophe event once again. I am done with her and dishonesty. I have offered to go to AA with no avail. The ball is in her court
I work in a Memory Care home & we have several alcoholics (one in her 60's) who now have alcoholic dementia or Wernicke Korsakoff Syndrome as a result of excessive intake of alcohol. There's really nothing you can do about your mother's alcoholism until it renders HER incompetent due to dementia, or causes her to fall and hurt herself badly. At that time, the hospital would send her to rehab who may refuse to release her back to independent living. You'd then have to get her placed into a facility since she's obviously unable to care for herself. But like Elaine1962 said, you can't save a person from herself; especially an addict. They WILL find a way to get their drug of choice, with or without your help.
Yes Elaine I would love your weight and height. I was close to it but have lost a couple of inches and I am trying to get to that weight but it is so difficult and i really watch what I eat. I more or less have to starve which I can only manage if massively depressed and despite a really difficult year of medical issues I am somewhat content.
If she is an alcoholic you know she can’t just quit, don’t you? It’s actually dangerous to do that. She needs medical supervision while stopping drinking.
Roxylou, Does she have access to somewhat unlimited funds to continue to pay for alcohol? Do you think she ever drives while under the influence because if so you could likely alert local police?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It might be obvious that somebody with mobility issues who is 85 and has already sustained a fall would be better advised not to take anything that will make her still more unsteady on her legs (not to mention impairing the quality of her sleep). But. People don't like being told what to do.
If your mother is drinking more than usual for her, or drinking all day, or - God forbid - drinking and then driving; and it seems that she couldn't stop even if she half-wanted to; then you'd better consult her doctors about it and take advice about addressing her dependency.
But if she's having a drink or two of an evening as has been her habit forever, and no more than that - say what needs to be said about the wisdom of it, and then hold your peace. The battle is just leading her to be secretive and causing conflict which won't help anything. She's an adult, she knows the risk, you've reinforced the message: from there, it's her decision.
Wishing you the best of luck!
BTW, if she can barely walk how is she getting the booze?
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