Mom had bad fall resulting in 18 broken ribs. Has COPD and used oxygen. Admitted to hospital, breathing crashed, intubated. Then tracheotomy. It’s now 47 days later. Off vent 18 hours a day. Put back on at night to help her sleep. Doctors stating that she will never be able to come off vent full time. That only options are take her off vent and let her die or find facility for her. My mother is a strong woman and I am convinced given more time, she can do it! Anyone have some thoughts or comments to share?
Mom is 88 already suffering from COPD that she needed oxygen for. She had a serious fall not good for an 88 year old. She now has been in a hospital 47days. There is a trama in that alone. Its called hospital delirium. I am not saying to give up and if you mean by strong stubborn, I have seen these type of people bounce back so its possible Mom could recover. But you also need to be realistic. She may not. She has had a shock to her system. Maybe Skilled nursing will help. She will get therapy to help get her strength back. You can try. But there may come a time that you have to let go.
Please do come back and tell us how things work out. We learn from others.
I ask because the choice is hers. I suspect she hasn’t been awake and in a sound mind or she would have told the doctors herself. Maybe she has said in her advance care directive but you don’t agree with it?
Have you gotten a second opinion?
What is wrong with sending her to a rehab facility with the vent at night? If she can be weaned off the vent at rehab, she could then return to her former living circumstances, yes?
Me, I would explore every option available to her and plan for her comfort, maybe she will come through this however at her age it will be a real struggle.
A facility is not a terrible option, she will be cared for by a staff who has clinical training, if she recuperates then you can move in another direction.
For some reason people think that there cannot be other options explored if the circumstances change either for the better or worse. Nothing is set in concrete.
If you’re not comfortable with her medical care team you do owe her and yourself a second opinion. If that opinion backs up her initial assessment by previous doctors, you may have to consider the possibility that you’ll need to come up with an alternate plan that will allow her more freedom in a safer environment.
My father was in a similar situation and would have needed intensive treatment for the rest of his life. It would have severely impacted his quality of life and he wouldn't be able to live independently. Thankfully he had medical directives and I knew it wasn't what he wanted. He spent a few days and passed away. I am thankful that he was comfortable in the end.