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My 89 year old mother has recently lost control of her bladder - meaning ALL OF SUDDEN and OUT OF NOWHERE, she has to IMMEDIATELY go to the bathroom. Most times, she doesn't make it to the bathroom and wets her pants. She was tested for a UTI - negative. Anyone else encounter this and actually be able to get it "fixed?" I would really appreciate the help. Thanks. Val

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It wasn't sudden but my mom has this problem too, she has for years. There was a time when there was talk about doing surgery but those days are gone and I imagine at your moms age they are for her too. There are medications that can help so you might talk it over with her PCP but either way it's time for some incontinence undergarments. Depends work best for Mom but there are many brands of disposables out there to try as well as cotton reusable underwear she could try if you want to go that route (lots of laundry). I would highly recommend a waterproof mattress cover and several washable pads for the bed and chairs if that becomes a problem. For my mom it's only at night and when she forgets to put on a new nighttime pair of special underwear (we never call them diapers) that she has leaks but it happens enough that she always has the pads on the bed. I found that putting on 2 sets of sheet/pad and or pad under and on top of the sheet makes life easier because she (or we) can just take off the wet/damp set and there is already a fresh on underneath so we only have to remake the bed every few days maybe rather than more often and we aren't doing laundry every day. But this is very common though I don't know how common this sudden oncome of it is so a visit and conversation with the doctor about other possibilities (UTI was a great first bet) seems appropriate. Also just as a bit of FYI my mom shows symptoms of UTI before testing positive sometimes, it's happened more than once, now those are cognitive signs but I imagine patients can be different so another test for UTI might not be inappropriate, I don't know how long this has been going on. Good luck, I know how difficult this can be on them and on you.
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ValGrubb Feb 2019
Doc appt set up and I'm going to request another UTI test. The make me nervous in the AL facility. LOTS of helpful suggestions here. THANK YOU!
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In addition to the great advice you've already received ... I'm 72 and cognitively intact (mostly) and this happens to me a few times a year. It's always when I'm also experiencing back pain. Apparently there's some spinal degeneration in the area where the nerves for bladder and bowel exit the spinal cord ... and when they are impinged on, those muscles are much weaker.

If she has a chiropractor, an adjustment would be great. If she doesn't, you probably should consider consulting one, but many will ask for xrays before treating a new patient of advanced age because our skeletons can be so fragile.

And definitely switch to some sort of disposable or launderable-absorbent briefs.
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sandi61 Feb 2019
Maggiebea thank you for that info. I've never heard that before and it makes total sense.
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Once you have ruled out all other possible problems start a routine and have her get up at least every 2 hours and go tot he bathroom. Even if she does not "have" to go. Many times we forget how long it actually has been since we have gone and then the urge hits and by the time we realize it it is to late..or almost to late.
Many times it is the fact that the last time we went the bladder did not fully empty and you sit there and say I just went I can't believe I have to go again!
There are medications that might help. There are pads that she could put in her underwear or possibly switch to disposable underwear. (I know..who figured you would spend the first part of your life wearing diapers, a brief time (no pun intended) wearing underwear, a time wearing underwear with a pad, then just underwear again, then underwear with a pad, then diapers again! Talk about a full circle.)
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On stress days for my mom, I double up: pull on Depends with an additional overnight, extra long, extra absorbent, thick pad as a liner.
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I know the possible fix. My relative got a pessary installed in her vagina to prop up internal stuff that was sagging. I took her to three gyns who didn't know what they were doing. Two tried the pessary but it was likely the wrong size. I called around to gyn practices, asked to speak to the nurse, asked about the problem. One nurse recommended a gyn in ANOTHER practice. The doctor had studied how to use a pessary for her patients. Bless you Dr Teresa M. Problem was largely solved. Be aware, the pessary has to be removed, cleaned and the vagina looked at every three months by the doctor. There are also medications for this problem. The specialist who should deal with this problem is a genitourologist. Depending on the person's general health and willingness to undergo the treatment etc, you may decide that using pull up incontinence underwear is what will work for you. For you younger post menapausal ladies, getting serious about the kegel exercise and getting a low level estrogen "pill" to insert in the vagina will delay the occurrence of this problem for you.
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On a related issue, I'd like to address laundry issues with urine. White vinegar is excellent for removing the odour. I put it in the fabric softener slot (no fabric softener). For a big problem, do a rinse prior to washing using the vinegar.
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Ok i’ll admit it here ... im 78 and wear a pad that i line with a folded paper towel over it held in place with a small walmart options pad connected to the towel and my pants so the towel doesnt fall out.

After my hysterectomy my bowel and bladder fell and things are i guess leaning on each other.

I work at a call center and after ive been sitting about an hour and a half i go to the restroom since i dont know how long my next call will be except maybe too late !

Im not interested in an operation and so far after about almost 20 years ive gotten to this point and it works ... for now anyway.
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Toadhall Feb 2019
Please see my info about a pessary that the gyn can put in the vagina--no surgery. It props up the sagging stuff internally. This might help you.
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Hi Val,
Loss (sudden) of bladder control and fatigue were the only clues my 83 yo mom had ovarian cancer. A CA125 blood test might be an easy first line check. She started wearing Depends b/c she did not want to smell. She worried about the cost so did not change them often enough - UTI resulted. Lessons learned. Good luck!
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Toadhall Feb 2019
Thank you for this! Excellent reminder. Ovarian cancer is sneaky. Any symptoms are very very vague.
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Possibly she has lost sensation and waits too long! Timed voiding will help with this (so she doesn't wait too long!) Also wearing depends would help a little when she is out in public. Figure out how long since she has gone and see that she goes before the urge hits! Coffee and tea and caffeinated drinks act as diuretics so possibly avoid those out and about!
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Toadhall Feb 2019
I will add that the caffeine also causes a mildly irritated feeling in the bladder, a feeling like you have to go when you don't. When I have caffeine, my bladder complains it's full when it's not. Shut up bladder!
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My mom the same, Her dignity was at the center, a private thing, I helped remedy with the confidence of depends.
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