My in-laws bitterly fight. Because of distrust, one is accusing the other of pocketing fund. My MIL is on Medicaid.
Side note
BIL bought a car with MIL name on title, when MIL went in memory care…. he later added his name to title. After Two months he sold it and distributed. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop…as I think it will be clawed back.
If there is an executor I would start by asking for a copy of the will; simple if that is turned over. Otherwise, if there is a sizable estate, hire your own Trust and Estate Attorney to act in your behalf. If not much of an estate, and clawback involved, there is little to worry about. Just wait until the will is filed, and go read it.
I would think that since MIL is on Medicaid an accting has already been done. BIL had to produce 5 yrs of Bank Statements. Any large withdrawls would be questioned, like the purchase of that car. Since MIL has Medicaid, they must not have found anything that would penalize her. Unless, he hid money somehow.
Unless there is a house, there will be no estate to probate. All MILs assets had to be used before a Medicaid application could be finalized. My state your only allowed 2k in assets. Her SS and any pension will stop at her death. In my situation there was a house which Medicaid placed a lien on. So I probated her estate. I had to send letters to the beneficiaries telling them probate had been started and either send a copy of the Will with the letter or make it available. Once Probated, a Will is public record. The Executor is responsible to pay all debts from the estate. There is also an accting showing everything. Each beneficiary signs off. If at that time you feel the accting is not accurate you can contest it asking that POA records be looked at.
I am SO GRATEFUL that my YB who is the executor, has been completely transparent in keeping us in the loop.
Mom's estate was so small. Split 5 ways? We're basically getting nothing. I am gifting to my OTHER Yb any amount up to $10K and will take any 'leftover' as my inheritance. I wrote a little document for YB to file with all the paperwork. He knows how much each of us is getting...and as I told him my desires, he chuckled a little, so my guess is mom had less than $50K in all life insurance and annuities. Splt 5 ways won't be $10K for any of us.
My DH was executor for his father and the only person who gave him grief is his sister's DH. He wanted a daily accounting of everything. Drove a real wedge between us, as he accused my incredibly honest husband of not keeping good records. DH will NOT do family drama, so there was no need for BIL to act the way he did. DH is also his mom's executor and he is NOT looking forward to that, which we already know will be a hot mess.
JoAnn is spot on. Have the beneficiaries sign off and then when they come scrambling back for a few dollars, you can tell them to talk to a lawyer. My DH's problem is that he routinely gave YS and her hubby more than they were entitled to. BIL would not allow DH or myself to charge the estate one penny for the hundreds of hours of work we did--but he sold 2 properties and took his commission.
18 years later and I'm still a little miffed by his cheap antics.