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You been used. Ask to be removed from this client ASAP. This happen a lot . No what your job duties are when you work and don't hesitate to remind the client as well and call company and report. You are a CNA not a HOUSE MAID.....
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You are the type CNA I wish I could find for my husband… not to have you deep clean our house but because you obviously care for your clients. There are clients (at least their families) who would thoroughly appreciate your commitment to do a good job. I have had some like you who are willing and even offer to do a few things they are not expected… but many seem to only want to do specific things on their list and aren’t even good at engaging him in a simple conversation when they complete the list. It sounds like the family is aware of certain issues since they asked for a report for the doctor. It also sounds like Diane is working hard to have her family think she is “normal” by calling you her housekeeper to avoid having them take her care to the next level. My mother interpreted any efforts we made to get assistance for her as a step to the nursing home and if a social worker came to evaluate to suggest resources, she did her best to appear she needed no help. If you truly are miserable then time to move on. If your heart is still there, then tell the family to let Diane know you have given a notice you are leaving but you may reconsider if things can change back to your required duties. If she still has that bond she may try hard to back off. With my children, I found a defined list of expectations (that they signed) made it easier to enforce because I had something to point to when a line was crossed.
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My thoughts:
Your client is obviously deteriorating mentally. Your job probably includes light housekeeping, but nothing of this level. I would have a discussion with her daughter and explain exactly try what is going on. The daughter may not be aware that things are at this level. Give a written list of light housekeeping duties you will do to both parties (grocery shop and pharmacy once weekly and taking client to appointments, making a light lunch and cleanup afterwards, assist with bathing and toileting, medication reminders, etc.). She will need to hire a housekeeper for deep or heavy cleaning. You will keep record of what she eats and drinks and when she takes her meds and report that to her daughter and physician. She is calling you her housekeeper because she's embarrassed that she needs a caretaker. Suggest that she use the word companion or assistant instead. There's noting wrong with being a housekeeper, but you have a job title and professional license that should be acknowledged while you are working. If it becomes intolerable, give a professional 2 week notice. That gives daughter an opportunity to seek placement, which it sounds like she thinks is necessary based on her request of a letter from you.
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Willennym, if you are serious in saying that there is no care plan (as opposed to there is but not a very good one) and you have made your agency aware of this and requested a care plan and requested directions and nothing has happened...

Then you look up whatever regulatory body in your area inspects agencies like the one you work for, you report this agency, and you stop working for it. And go and work full-time for the higher-paying agency, which perhaps is also able to invest in training and proper assessments and all that.

I assume you consider yourself a professional, yes? But nobody - not the family, not the agency, no one - is addressing this client's real needs and YOU are making that possible.
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The best thing to do is get together for a careful care contract in which you stipulate what you will do and what you will not. This is signed by both the caregiver and the one hiring.
Of course you may be dealing with personalities you cannot deal with. If you can afford then to pick and choose, I would do that.
I think you are suffering from some boundary problems as well, as it is NOT OK to keep you past quitting time, whether you have others who expect you or not. That is a simple "No, I am sorry, I cannot possibly stay past time to quit".
Wishing you good luck. I sure hope the vent helped, we all need to let the steam off once in a while. Folks don't change much I find, and the patients and elders we care for, in my experience, are pretty much as they have been throughout their entire lives. I hope knowing that helps; often it doesn't!
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I am not a CNA but I worked with them when I worked as a secretary for Visiting Nurse Assoc. You are going over and above what a CNA or HHAs responsibilities are. This agency, in writing, should have made it clear to the client what your duties are. Priorities would be helping with bathing, dressing, getting meals. Cleaning is light cleaning. Meaning, cleaning up the dishes that are dirtied mainly on ur watch. Running a vacuum, light dusting, using a broom and mopping a floor (mopping when needed I broom everyday) sweep and wiping down the bath. Throw in a load or two of laundry but if she is capable, she should be doing the folding. (Me, I fold as I remove from the dryer) Doing dishes would be a daily thing but unless she has an accident, the bathroom can be done once a week. (I read years ago while bath still wet after a shower do a quick wipe with a tissue I only do laundry once a week for me. Towels when I get enough for a load. These are not daily duties. Any heavy cleaning, she needs to hire someone. And you are only responsible for the rooms she actually uses. So that would be the bath, kitchen, living area and her bedroom. (Are responsible for bed changes but again only once a week unless she soils the bed. I love Clorox wipes and Swiffer products, like their dry mop and dusters.

You do too much and since this agency is not sympathetic to the problem, you need to give notice. The woman needs a good physical and mental eval. I will bet, anyother aide they send in there will not last.
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You set boundaries but then she crosses them. So you really don't have boundaries.
Quit this client.
You are no longer effective. (if you were to begin with)
I would give the agency notice that you can no longer work with this client and they need to send a replacement. (just curious does your manager know what you have been doing for this client? It sounds like you may have been not following a care plan from day 1. Will be interesting what another caregiver will do)

A bit of advice...If a client ever does this again talk to your supervisor right away. The work that you describe is out of your scope of work/ job description. The problem with that is:
A) if you were ever to be injured doing something out of your scope of duties you may not be covered for insurance.
B) If the health of the client is made worse by failure to report things like failing to eat, drink, not reporting changes in health status it is not beyond belief that the family could file abuse charges. (if they follow through that is another story but no one wants a report like that filed)

Quit this client ASAP
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You say: “Diane was my FIRST ever client and we had a special bond”. But now “the bond we had is not there any more”. So quit.

Don’t try to take responsibility for Diane - you have no legal right to do that anyway, and her family (if the employers) need to work out who will do what for her. She is your only client left from the low-paying employer. Quit! Say Goodbye! It’s not your responsibility to worry about what comes next in sorting out her needs. They will all manage one way or another.
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willennym Feb 2022
Thank you, i really needed to hear that shes not legally my responsibility. Ive been feeling really guilty about this situation
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Ohforgodssake...

Willennym, you are NOT acting in your client's best interests.

Her condition goes undiagnosed and the true state of her ability to manage her activities of daily living is concealed and even the companionship service she is paying for and not getting - YOU are covering all this up.

Stop it!

What does it say on her care plan or support plan? What routines are included?
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willennym Feb 2022
Ive made many reports to my company but the registered nurse said its just a side effect of the Alzheimer’s pills so what else am i to do? I make reports of every single thing that worries me about her health, theres not much else i can do. There is NO care plan for Diane even though I’ve requested one many times from my company. Shes also told me she doesnt like the companion because shes “weird” so she could care less if she shows up or not, she doesnt like having different people come in, she thinks im enough. So you tell me what else i can do to act in my clients best interest.
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Wilennym, I'm reading through your responses & thought I'd add to a few points;

1. "I've set boundaries, my issue is enforcing it because im weak".

Pls change the word 'weak' to KIND. Or caring.

It takes practice to stand your ground. Start small. It DOES get easier!

2. A diagnosis of Alzheimer's? And Parkinson's? A'Ha!!

Think of Dementia as an umbrella. It is an overall label for marked symptoms of cognitive decline.

Alzheimer's is the most common type under that umbrella, then Vascular Dementia but there are others eg Lewy Bodies or FrontoTemporal Lobe Dementia. Each subtype differs in symptoms. Parkinson's Disease brings chemical brain changes, not always, but dementia symptoms too.

People are living longer & there seems to be a massive increase in dementia worldwide. This will bring much hardship for many families.

It is a fascinating area to study. Teepa Snow has become an expert on care in this area is really worth a Google & especially her many youtubes.

This can be a rewarding area to be a caregiving in & the right families can pay you well. Your skills are certainly needed.

3. If that agency is not supporting you or offering you training - ditch 'em. Try a new one.
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willennym Feb 2022
Thank you for the advice! Ill look up Teepa Snow to learn more.
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You have a valuable skill set. Get your resume out to lots of agencies and check hospital's job postings too. Aim high. Look into work/study programs to gain more knowlege in your field and perhaps go into nursing. One of my best friends was always taking classes to improve his work skill set, he said "I believe in investing in myself".
Nothing wrong with being a paid house keeper either. BUT-that is not your primary job description. Time to move on.
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Will, another reason to quit. You are the only one that is subjecting yourself to the abuse.
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Tell your company you work for that you're being asked to do tasks that are outside your job duties. They'll either clear things up with Diane and/or her daughter, or you can just walk.

Having you as a CNA doing her housekeeping is as unreasonable as hiring a plumber to paint the house. Two. Different. Jobs.

And no, she isn't MAKING you do any of that stuff -- you haven't said no and stuck with it, but it's the job of your employer to deal with this abuse of your time, not yours.
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willennym Feb 2022
My company hates when i complain, they tell me im always dumping a load of issues on them, they really make me feel like im alone on the field, they dont even answer my calls or call me back.
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first off I think you've done a wonderful job going above and beyond. I know it is very hard to hear, but this should no longer be your responsibility. You've done everything you can do and at this point you should move full time over to your new agency. Moving forward this job type is hard and it attracts caring people who often get taken advantage of. People will see this kindness in you so protect it well. No one has listened to your concerns, so If someone is doing all the work (you) of course no one is going to notice because it's always cleaned, so stop doing more than you're required. It'll pile up but it's not your job, don't enable their mistreatment towards you, always stand your ground. I hope you're situation changes, I'm rooting for both you and your lovely client.
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willennym Feb 2022
Thank you, that feels really good to hear! Rather than "suck it up, we do things were not supposed to and we stay quiet". This comes from other caregivers in person when i tell them my situation. I really do need help enforcing my bounderies because i dont want to give up on her.
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I would definitely quit. You may want to talk to the daughter first and explain why. You are a  CNA/CHHA, and not there to clean her house. She may have told mom she hired a 'housekeeper' and will realize that's not the way to go with the next person.
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willennym Feb 2022
I plan to talk to the daughter first, let her know whats going on. Ive been really thinking about what i can say without making it seem like im complaining about her mother. The first week i worked for Diane they did think i was a housekeeper but i cleared that up for them the same week.
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I wonder if her daughter told her she would get a housekeeper rather than a caregiver. Tbh, I would probably say something like that with my mum. And now you’ve done a good report as requested, maybe diane wants to make sure you’re in the housekeeper role.
I would set boundaries, and start packing up earlier so you’re not late finishing. Remind her 30 mins before you leave if there’s anything that needs doing, as you’re going shortly. I do that with my mum as she always remembers something when I’m leaving, which equally is probably because she doesn’t want me to go.
can you talk to her daughter? Is there anything else underlying?
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Beatty Feb 2022
Yep. The time thieves.

The "Oh, before you.go...." requests to keep.you there.

Whether anxious, lonely, bossy, manipulative - reassure with "I'll see you on X.day" or "I'll call you X.time".
But leave when you set out to.
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" I really don't want to become more uncomfortable to the point where i stop caring for her"

Why aren't you already to that point?

QUIT, and work only for the company that pays you more.
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willennym Feb 2022
Thank you for the advice, i really needed to hear this but ill quit if she refuses to respect what i really do for work.
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And you are staying with this company, WHY?
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willennym Feb 2022
Only for Diane but i really cant take it anymore
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I'd look at it this way. Your client is an independent woman. House proud, confident & efficient. (Well she thinks of herself that way..) She wants to still feel in control. That's why she is bossing you around so much.

Her daughter maybe pushed her into getting a 'house-cleaner' right? Often family do this when they notice areas of cognitive decline - memory, reasoning, behaviour/mood changes. They KNOW their parent needs a caregiver but can only get a professional in under the guise of 'house-cleaner'. (It's a common trick).

It's a tricky spot for you but just keep professional & do your role. If LIGHT cleaning is within your role, do that. Any heavy cleaning, decline. Explain a different cleaner is required.

Report back with honesty to the daughter. Unfortunately this may mean your client (the Mother) loses some trust in you. But you ARE actually helping her by being honest with your feedback - this will help with her greater care plan.

If there is dementia (hallucinations are a big indicator of either mental illness or dementia) there will be a wide range of moods, behaviour, accusations, paranoia possibly to come. As someone with a good rapport with your client, you could be great support for her as she adjusts to needing more care.

You definately WILL need to make & keep boundaries. These are for YOU. Don't expect client's to keep to them. Eg if the client wants you to run over time (which would make you late for your next appointment) you calmly state "No. I can't do that today, there is no time. I can do that for you next visit". Then you thank her & leave.

You will also need a thicker skin. If she insults your looks. You laugh it off.

Sometimes you have to stand up to bullies! I had a lady want tea, black tea, then white tea, then "Oh you put too much milk it's stone cold!" I brought a new cup. "Oh it's too strong now". Testing behaviour. Like a toddler.
So I brought her an empty cup, a pot of hot water, a milk jug & spoon & suggested she make it herself - just the way she liked. She glared at it. Glared at me. Then burst out laughing. It was a GAME to her! She was that bored in life this was her entertainment!

Consider that angle too.

Have a laugh & collect your pay I say 😁
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willennym Feb 2022
Youre right about the daughter thinking i was a hired as a house keeper, although i cleared that up the first week i worked for Diane. I was hired through Elder Services so she wouldnt know.

Also i dont have a proper care plan for Diane, i have tried getting one from my company but they have yet to give me one, Ive just done whatever the daughter says or the client for that reason. But heavy house keeping is against the companies rule, THAT i do know. I know you say to deny when she asks me to do heavy cleaning but when i do she will do it herself and make me feel bad for it. She is a fall risk and she has parkinsons, these are new things to her so she thinks she is independent but she can really hurt herself which is why i do it. But sometimes she is so unreasonable, when i finish all my tasks she will make me sweep and mop behind storages like big bureus in bathroom, when i say "no i cant, i only do simple house cleaning plus its against company policy to move furniture" she would MOVE the heavy objects herself and say "there now you can clean it". Its SO unsafe! And if i report this im sure they will blame me and tell me i should have done it myself (they being my company or the daughter).

I think she may have Dementia because she shows signs of it everyday but i think it goes undiagnosed because she already has Alzheimers so they blame her behaviour on that. But i know they are two seperate things.

Ive set boundaries, my issue is enforcing it because im weak and i just let her walk all over me. Ive even went as far as to make her handmade informational flyers about what a CHHA/CNA is and how she can use the services, she thought it was cute because it was colorful but ive found it in the trash because im sure she does not care and just wants me to continue to be a housekeeper. Things like me reminding her to take her meds on time gets her ticked off, she tells me i nag her. She also doesnt like when i keep track of her water intake or food intake or any intake, she doesnt let me write anything down, she rushes me to get back to cleaning each time.

I do laugh it off at the moment it happens and just smile because i dont want to entertain her insults but when im home i remember what she said and how she said it and it hurts because i know shes saying it personally since she never used to say things like that, she used to actually compliment me when i had a nice hairdo, now if she sees that she goes out her way to make fun of me. I will definitely try to thicken my skin but its just the fact that its coming from her. They really do test us and act like toddlers! I 100% agree with that since i have my own toddler at home haha.

Thank you for your advice! Im glad to feel people backing me up here and not making me feel like im just being a brat.
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Quit.
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willennym Feb 2022
Im so close to making that decision.
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