I am a 76 year old widower of about 2 and half years. My sister is 74 with uncontrolled diabetes which causes her to pass out and she has fallen and broke her shoulder. She has been acting unstable since before the fall, but she is acting bizarrely thinking people are listening on her phone and taking money from her bank account etc. etc. She is well educated but thinks everyone else has the problem. She lives alone and I live alone about 15 miles away. I am concerned because she is belligerent and domineering and has only 1 friend who is also concerned about her. We have no other family except a younger sister that is 62 who my subject sister hates and gets angry if her name is mentioned. I know she needs help but I also know she will not tolerate me suggesting that she get some help because she thinks everyone else has the problem. I don't know how to deal with this without completely alienating her. I know she will not be cooperative. I called a local senior services but they said without her consent there was nothing they can do. I'm at a loss because I can barely take care of myself. Any suggestions? Thank you.
She's probably struggling to wash and dress herself at the moment. Does she say anything to you about any practical difficulties she's having?
The thing is, you can do nothing and your sister will be - can't think how to put it, but screwed seems closest. Or, you can risk alienating her and be frank with her and hope she'll at least tell you what she *would* accept in the way of help. However she chooses to respond, she can't end up worse off because you ask her to face some home truths.
APS = Adult Protective Services
POA = Power of Attorney
Just FYI (for your information) :-)
Two fallers in our clan won't tell the 'worry worts' or the 'bossypants' about their falls - but surprisingly have told my DH. He doesn't know why... maybe coz is he neither. He calmly nods. Give them a safe space to tell someone.
I am trying this approach too (against my nature!) If they see their own problem, accept it, then maybe they will be more open to throwing some ideas around.
You smile later if you are told "Oh I'm so glad I decided to xyz". (That they decided for themselves is often key).