My friends attend my LO’s memorial service. 2 days later she calls me. She worked a 12 hour caregiving shift; got home and found her LO dead. It was unexpected. I arrived at their home same time as police and paramedics. They deemed it natural causes. I called the cremation place and they picked him up.
I understand I had time to think and process my hubby’s death. I hibernated for 6 months. Her hubby’s passing was sudden and not expected. They came to my hubby’s service, and we were all reconnecting with friends we haven’t seen in a long time.
I’m trying to tell her it’s going to take time. One day at a time I suppose.
I am sorry for the sudden loss of your friend.
I feel sudden losses are much harder on the families that are left behind.
I know someone who fell off a ladder while painting. He seemed to be doing alright but died in his sleep that night.
His wife freaked out when she woke up the next morning. She had an autopsy done to determine the actual cause of death. He was young, only in his 40’s. It was incredibly hard for his wife and young children.
My friend’s dad suddenly died with a heart attack while driving when she was eight years old.
Her dad left for work and kissed his family goodbye, then died on the way home from work. He was slumped over the steering wheel dead not too far from his home.
A guy that I worked with was struck by lightning in a freak storm while golfing. His son said at his funeral that he was glad that his father died doing something that he loved. The man was only a few months away from retirement.
These situations are so sad. I think you handled this situation well. It is going to take some time to get over the shock. As you said, one day at the time is all she can do at this point in time.
Tell her ONLY that you are here for her, and you are so sorry. And whether she wants your help with anything or your support, or to talk, you are there at any hour of the day.
There is nothing comfort about his going fast. Lovely for him but she's in a state of total shock.
There's nothing comforting in anything here.
So tell her you are there for her, and will be.
THAT is a huge comfort.
Your friend has to indeed take it one day at a time. Your friend should try to focus on the happier times she had with her husband when he was alive and try not to dwell on his death. Thinking of the happier times spent with her husband and looking at pictures of the happy times will help her to get through each day.