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At many funeral's I have attended,the song "My Way" has been played and the other day at a funeral,I heard "Smile" and that was great. I really think songs that the Loved One lost would've loved are best to play or one's that relate to them or their life. I'm sure the funeral director would suggest many also.Good luck & take care~
I am very sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathies and condolences.
Choosing music is very personal. I know you want to respect your elderly parent's wishes as much as possible. So many wonderful songs about love and devotion. And even some classical music would be suitable.
Think about what kind of music your parents enjoyed, esp if they were religious. I've sung at MANY funerals, and I have been kind of amazed at the variety of songs people wanted. "Whispering Hope"-sung at Grandma's, "How Great thou Art", " I Come to the Garden Alone", "what a Wonderful world"....everyone has different tastes.
If some of the family is musical, get them involved. My daughter has rehearsed a piano piece she played at daddy's funeral and will play at Mother's so much she's memorized it.
I personally have chosen non-religious songs for me own service, even tho I am deeply religious.
DH's choice is "I can't get No Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones. (sigh) go figure.
If you respect the person's wishes, you can't go wrong.
What a coincidence - they were discussing this very subject on the radio this afternoon, kept my mind right off the terrible traffic...
Of course it very much depends on the nature of the funeral - whether it is religious or not, what wishes if any the person expressed.
A priest on the programme was explaining the problems he sometimes had with families not wanting funerals to be "too gloomy." They wanted it to be a celebration of the person, and of life, with music to match. Hence the enormous popularity of 'My Way' as a choice.
But, he pointed out, the point about death is that it is God's to ordain. Passing from life to death (and then, most religions hope and trust, onwards and upwards) is pretty much the polar opposite of individuality and choice. It is about the inexorability of God's will. And the message to mourners quite often is not so much "there there, he's with the angels" as how we had all better get used to the idea of our own death, and think on't.
On the practical side, what this minister suggested was that the family keep the Deceased's All-Time Favourites for the wake, and allow the funeral itself to be both more sober and more focused on the person's relationship with God, with hymns to match. Which seems a good and appropriate balance to me, anyway.
The other topic that came up and might be useful, was that of funeral singers. Bookings have shot up, apparently; and having a beautiful hymn or anthem well sung by a real person, rather than a recording, has been a great comfort to many mourners.
One of the most beautiful funerals I have attended had a Christmas theme. Christmas being the deceased’s favorite time. She died in late Nov so it was almost seasonal. The song that was so beautiful was her favorite. Silent Night, accompanied by a violin and sung by the attendees in a beautiful mausoleum. Poinsettias and Norfolk pines, other favorites, were prominent. So, echoing what others have said. Make it personal to the deceased.
My BIL used to play Waltzing Matilda, and the whole family, down to the littlest kid, would sing loudly and joyfully. His memorial service included a beautiful, soft rendition played on violin by a friend. And it ended with us all singing the song. It was the family's way of celebrating his life.
Queen - Don't stop me now. Monty python - Always look on the bright side of life. Whiting / Dykes - For Those in Peril on the Sea (Eternal Father, strong to save)
These are the ones I have selected for me. Hope you like one of them, but it all depends on your parents personal choice.
I think that a funeral service in a church might be a little different than a memorial service.
We played Lawrence Welk music and had a bubble machine at my mother's service, held at a park. My husband's memorial service was in a funeral home and was not religous. We played John Denver music.
The people who I assume will survive me have a much more meaningful relationship with music than I do, and I would want them to be free to select what they consider appropriate.
I would think that if a funeral service in a church is the appropriate celebration of the person's life, then the focus, including the songs, should be religious. "My Way" seems fine for the wake or the lunch, but I would think the actual service should be more about God's way.
A memorial service can be as religious or secular as the planners want it to be.
I had “Daddys Hands” by Holly Dunn played at my dads funeral because it suited him perfectly and a song my dad had written for my mom when they first married called “Love And My Last Name” one song I’ve chosen for my funeral is “On The Other Side” by Daily & Vincent...want my sister and her 2 Daughters to sing @ my funeral if I go first as she has the most amazing voice...they always sang a song Accopello called “I Am A Christian”..beautiful harmony...everyone has their own taste 😊
Some religious denominations expect or require that the songs come from the approved hymnal. In that case, the secular songs are best kept for a wake or memorial, as several people have said. But even to the non-religious, many of the old hymns give comfort. When my DIL's ashes were buried next to her mother's in the old family cemetery, my son and his brother-in-law, with her closest friends, celebrated her life in an informal secular service. But at the end, her very old uncle unexpectedly took a harmonica out of his pocket and played "Amazing Grace." It was a sunny, quiet, country day and when the chords drifted out over the hill where she was buried we all wept. And it was perfect.
Reminded me of another funeral. The WW II vet was being buried with military honors. 21 gun salute and taps. When everyone honored the flag by placing their right hand over their hearts, the elderly widow ( with Alzheimer’s and cancer) unexpectedly stood from her wheelchair and did the same. It brought tears to everyone’s eyes, especially the family who knew how ill she was. She died one month and one day later.
We chose I Know That My Redeemer Lives (Samuel Medley/John Hatton/ Duke Street tune) for my father's service, religious, uplifting and easy to sing. Of course now I tear up every Easter when we sing it in church.
I would love to have Whitney Houston's "I look to You" played at my funeral. It came out after she had lost most of her popularity and her voice was not as strong but it has always touched me a lot.
My mother loved Simon and Garfunkel - the Sounds of Silence was played in background. A group of men from the homeless shelter that she volunteered at sang Amazing Grace. Weird, my father's service had Sounds of Silence as well; I had never mentioned it to my brother and he picked it for mother. Go figure.
The music from the film Ordinary People, Pachelbel Canon in D Major. Very beautiful, dignified, always makes me cry. Also, The Wind Beneath My Wings sung by Bette Midler
Not traditional but a great song is MercyMe's (band) song titled I Can Only Imagine -- the film is out in theaters now. It is a beautiful song with a great message imaging what it will be like being in God's presence in heaven.
My mum passed suddenly last month, only four weeks after she’d transferred from us to a care home. We had Pie Jesu on the entrance and What a Wonderful World on the exit. We also had Abide with me because she liked it. Sometimes when looking through stuff to find hints on what people want but if you don’t then think of the person and their era and how they viewed life. Hope this helps. So sorry for your loss. I totally understand where you are at. X
Randy Travis has a collection called Hymns. It has so many of the old hymns. Peace in the Valley is great. I played it for my mother who had Alzheimer's when she was alive. She would sing along. Has I will Fly Away, Gather at the River- so many more and simply done.
well you can try mumsford sons version google it amazing grace ..i like or my favorite is daughtry home google it to see ..i think it is a perfect fit .. youtube.com/watch?v=p2nr9oBRsRg i dont know if they will accept a link .. also if you what a good message from billy graham .. called last message from billy graham to america & the world -google that if this dont work you can use it you like listen a lot it to me makes a lot of sense youtube.com/watch?v=b4TMuee7Ir8 so that is what i came up with
In The Sweet By and By (we shall meet at the beautiful shore) It Is Well With My Soul precious Lord, Take My Hand Soon And Very Soon (we’re going to see the King...no more sorrow there..)
Loved reading the suggestions here. I like the old spirituals and black gospel songs. I told my sister that I want a black choir at my funeral to sing "I'll take you there" which was made famous by the Staple Singers. It’s uplifting and also spiritual. We had my mom's favorite hymns sung at her funeral and now when I hear them at church they make me sad. So I kind of hate that...songs in the minor key are more sad and melancholy. I prefer uplifting songs at my funeral. How about ."swing low, sweet chariot". I also love Be Thou My Vision. My dad is still living and not a church going guy. So I don’t know that we will have music unless it’s a country western song. He loved Hank Williams.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I'm sure the funeral director would suggest many also.Good luck & take care~
I am very sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathies and condolences.
Choosing music is very personal. I know you want to respect your elderly parent's wishes as much as possible. So many wonderful songs about love and devotion. And even some classical music would be suitable.
I've sung at MANY funerals, and I have been kind of amazed at the variety of songs people wanted. "Whispering Hope"-sung at Grandma's, "How Great thou Art", " I Come to the Garden Alone", "what a Wonderful world"....everyone has different tastes.
If some of the family is musical, get them involved. My daughter has rehearsed a piano piece she played at daddy's funeral and will play at Mother's so much she's memorized it.
I personally have chosen non-religious songs for me own service, even tho I am deeply religious.
DH's choice is "I can't get No Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones. (sigh) go figure.
If you respect the person's wishes, you can't go wrong.
Of course it very much depends on the nature of the funeral - whether it is religious or not, what wishes if any the person expressed.
A priest on the programme was explaining the problems he sometimes had with families not wanting funerals to be "too gloomy." They wanted it to be a celebration of the person, and of life, with music to match. Hence the enormous popularity of 'My Way' as a choice.
But, he pointed out, the point about death is that it is God's to ordain. Passing from life to death (and then, most religions hope and trust, onwards and upwards) is pretty much the polar opposite of individuality and choice. It is about the inexorability of God's will. And the message to mourners quite often is not so much "there there, he's with the angels" as how we had all better get used to the idea of our own death, and think on't.
On the practical side, what this minister suggested was that the family keep the Deceased's All-Time Favourites for the wake, and allow the funeral itself to be both more sober and more focused on the person's relationship with God, with hymns to match. Which seems a good and appropriate balance to me, anyway.
The other topic that came up and might be useful, was that of funeral singers. Bookings have shot up, apparently; and having a beautiful hymn or anthem well sung by a real person, rather than a recording, has been a great comfort to many mourners.
She died in late Nov so it was almost seasonal.
The song that was so beautiful was her favorite. Silent Night, accompanied by a violin and sung by the attendees in a beautiful mausoleum.
Poinsettias and Norfolk pines, other favorites, were prominent. So, echoing what others have said. Make it personal to the deceased.
Queen - Don't stop me now.
Monty python - Always look on the bright side of life.
Whiting / Dykes - For Those in Peril on the Sea (Eternal Father, strong to save)
These are the ones I have selected for me. Hope you like one of them, but it all depends on your parents personal choice.
We played Lawrence Welk music and had a bubble machine at my mother's service, held at a park. My husband's memorial service was in a funeral home and was not religous. We played John Denver music.
The people who I assume will survive me have a much more meaningful relationship with music than I do, and I would want them to be free to select what they consider appropriate.
I would think that if a funeral service in a church is the appropriate celebration of the person's life, then the focus, including the songs, should be religious. "My Way" seems fine for the wake or the lunch, but I would think the actual service should be more about God's way.
A memorial service can be as religious or secular as the planners want it to be.
Reminded me of another funeral. The WW II vet was being buried with military honors. 21 gun salute and taps. When everyone honored the flag by placing their right hand over their hearts, the elderly widow ( with Alzheimer’s and cancer) unexpectedly stood from her wheelchair and did the same. It brought tears to everyone’s eyes, especially the family who knew how ill she was. She died one month and one day later.
Also, The Wind Beneath My Wings
sung by Bette Midler
OR
Somewhere Over the Rainbow
We had Pie Jesu on the entrance and What a Wonderful World on the exit. We also had Abide with me because she liked it. Sometimes when looking through stuff to find hints on what people want but if you don’t then think of the person and their era and how they viewed life.
Hope this helps. So sorry for your loss. I totally understand where you are at. X
i dont know if they will accept a link .. also if you what a good message from billy graham .. called last message from billy graham to america & the world -google that if this dont work you can use it you like listen a lot it to me makes a lot of sense
youtube.com/watch?v=b4TMuee7Ir8 so that is what i came up with
It Is Well With My Soul
precious Lord, Take My Hand
Soon And Very Soon (we’re going to see the King...no more sorrow there..)