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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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It may be time to place this person in a facility for their own welfare. As suggested talk to medical provider for medication / adjustments Get bells on the mattress to alert you when this happens. Get a caregiver in there at nights to monitor (expensive but perhaps necessary if you can afford). * Be aware that wandering in the house could transition into wondering outside - can this person open the front / back door(s)? Have they tried.
Who is this person living with and who oversees their care? Do not want for something worse to happen. Start investigating nursing homes or other facilities. Or get in 12/7 night care-givers.
Btjp's answer doesn't deal with the interesting bit about the anti-strip onesie. If M's routine involves getting dressed before wandering, that might be enough to stop it. It sounds as though Btjp may never had had to cope this on her own. Most family members, even if not nurses, do not use medication 'willy nilly'.
Many elders let alone their kids have funds for mc or even aides, and government assistance is not usually swift.
The onesie would deter dressing. If stairs are involved, a hook and eye will at least give you enough time to get to the door before she falls down them. Seroquel is nonaddictive and one of the top drugs prescribed for wandering.
My wife wonders as night sometimes, so to solve it doctor prescribed a nighttime low dose sleep pill to take before bedtime. Sometimes this does not keep her in bed or asleep. So I installed a bedrail on her side of the bed. Along with this I bought some cheap alarms that goes on the doors to the outside that I put at the top of the doors out of her reach. This works very well so far and is loud enough for me to wake up and check on her. I also use these during the day to know if she has tried to slip out the door. There is a security alarm sys. on the house as well that would notify the company, but had to turn it off and rely on the simple one that just makes a lot of noise in the house if the door is even cracked open. These to inexpensive added methods has worked very well for me. Even if I go outside I can hear the alarm if she goes out another door.
Consider if she needs to be in a facility (for her safety). Have an overnight caregiver - so you can sleep. And for her safety.
Get 'bells' on her bed and/or on her body (ankles?) so you / someone can hear her.
She may start walking outside the front door. What is she doing at night when wandering? Making noise? opening refrigerator? walking up / down stairs? anything that could cause self-harm? Or harm to anyone else in the house (someone mentioned this below, i.e., stove or sharp objects.
My mum would have been extremely disturbed and distressed if she heard bells every time she moved. That would have been a cruel thing to do to her. There are other ways of alerting the caregiver that the person they're looking after is on the move. Rig the doors and other suitable areas, so that an alarm is triggered for the carer to be aware of what's happening.
My Mom wanders the house at night too, I have tried redirecting her but it doesn’t help. When she’s ready she will go back to bed. Make your house as safe as possible. (Fortunately she has zero interest in the kitchen appliances.) I let her do her thing. Ring door bells are good tools- you get a notification when it senses motion at the door. I use a baby monitor that I check each time I get up during the night. I also have coded door knobs on exterior doors. Before the reprimands start- I have checked with a firefighter about them and was told the locks are not an issue for them( fire fighters) they will get in if there is an emergency. One good piece of advice I’ve read on this forum is that things change, once you figure out how to deal with an issue something else will become an issue. So bear in mind there is no end until the end. And of course like others have said if the suggested interventions don’t work in your situation then memory care.
24 hour supervision. Either in a memory care setting or with night shift caregivers (who stay awake) at home. There are just too many dangers to leave them to their own devices and too detrimental to a caregiver's health if they are continually sleep-deprived.
Are they looking for voices or do they have their am/pm mixed up? If they are having visual or audible hallucinations, then Seroquel may help control the visuals and voices which may allow them to stay in bed longer.
My FW has 2 seroquel scripts for sundowning that she takes every night at bedtime, a fast acting and a time released versions. She still wanders 3 or 4 times a night. But, not for very long and she's (most nights) not mean, hateful or scared.
I can usually just tell her to go back and get in bed before you fall down.
I would take them to a Neurologist. There are medications to try. If it becomes too difficult to keep them safe in your home, you might need to find a long term care facility.
We use a motion detector that sounds alarm in our bedroom so I know my MIL is moving in bed even before she gets up. I go in and help her toilet, show her it is dark and tell her it is time for bed and put her back in. Some nights I get up several times so I nap during the day when she naps. This works for us (my husband and myself). Some nights she only gets up once. I still take naps to stay healthy. I also am able to go to exercise classes twice a week, swim once, walk 5 miles one day, and write twice a week for 4 hours each time. We have an aid that comes two mornings a week. My husband and I work together to keep my MIL at home. I find time to knit, read, and enjoy cooking. We tend flowers on the patio and enjoy watching Gunsmoke often!!!! If you choose to be the caregiver, you have to figure out how to live in that time of their life. Like choosing to have a baby. You know you are required to spend most time around that baby so you do it with joy and love and get creative with self care.
Speak to her doctor even if it’s a herbal sleeping aid to help calm her mind I think the other helpers are correct - your mother may need care home help
I think that the door alarms idea, plus a lock on the kitchen door for night time, is best. However, that doesn't resolve the problem of you missing out on sleep, nor of preventing your LO from wandering outside. You can't lock them in or make the front door too difficult to open because they would be fire hazards.
Personally, if possible, I would consider a secure memory care facility, so that your LO is kept safe and that you have the rest you need to be at your best. You can't do everything, and you can't be the best caregiver that you want to be if you are sleep deprived.
My Mom woke up at 3 am every night almost. She also would try and get dressed but I had a baby monitor and could hear her. I went down and showed her that it was still dark out so not time to get up. I put her back to bed and she slept till 8am. Of course, I was now awake and could not get back to sleep. I had baby proof knob covers on the doors.
I did place my Mom. She needed to be safe and I needed a good night sleep. The first night she was in AL I slept thru the night. Heaven.
The only way it's legal to lock an elder in their room at night is if YOU are in there with them. It's illegal to lock an elder with dementia alone in their room overnight. Sleep issues go hand and hand with dementia, as well as wandering. Speak to the doctor about medication to keep the elder asleep, hire overnight caregivers, or consider Memory Care Assisted Living.
Sparky, some are wanderers some are not. Wanderers are more work need more watching and more child proofing of your home.
There are stories all the time about dementia patients that wander off. There was one I read the headlines of yesterday in Florida, they found her, and she is ok but she was in a swamp.
There are lots of things you can do, alarms on the doors so if they do get the door open it will go off.
The stove and cooking is the next huge issue, which is not only a danger to the demted but to everyone in the house.
Their brain is broke you need to protect everyone in the house, you can't fix them, you can only try to keep them safe, or put them where they are safe into memory care.
Are they going to the bathroom? Are they waking you up? At this rate, sooner or later they will leave the house at night. What do you do when you catch them wandering at night? What if they turn on the stove, or other dangerous activities?
Easier to put the hook and eye latch outside their door high up. Hopefully they will try to leave and see they can't get out, and go back to bed.
And you should never be allowed to care for anyone, especially a senior. You cannot lock an elder away in their room unless you, too, are inside the room. As a nurse who specializes in the elderly, what would make you think that you can administer Seroquel Willy Billy? Seroquel is for patients who need it, it's not meant to be used to keep you from being aggravated. You need to be reported to the Dept of Aging. God all mighty, I hope that you never have contact with any of my family or friends. That's a statement that should be reported as abuse .
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
As suggested talk to medical provider for medication / adjustments
Get bells on the mattress to alert you when this happens.
Get a caregiver in there at nights to monitor (expensive but perhaps necessary if you can afford).
* Be aware that wandering in the house could transition into wondering outside - can this person open the front / back door(s)? Have they tried.
Who is this person living with and who oversees their care?
Do not want for something worse to happen.
Start investigating nursing homes or other facilities.
Or get in 12/7 night care-givers.
Gena / Touch Matters
The onesie would deter dressing. If stairs are involved, a hook and eye will at least give you enough time to get to the door before she falls down them. Seroquel is nonaddictive and one of the top drugs prescribed for wandering.
These to inexpensive added methods has worked very well for me. Even if I go outside I can hear the alarm if she goes out another door.
Give this right after dinner or 6 or 8 pm
This will help your loved one get a good nights sleep
Have an overnight caregiver - so you can sleep. And for her safety.
Get 'bells' on her bed and/or on her body (ankles?) so you / someone can hear her.
She may start walking outside the front door.
What is she doing at night when wandering?
Making noise? opening refrigerator? walking up / down stairs? anything that could cause self-harm? Or harm to anyone else in the house (someone mentioned this below, i.e., stove or sharp objects.
Gena / Touch Matters
There are other ways of alerting the caregiver that the person they're looking after is on the move. Rig the doors and other suitable areas, so that an alarm is triggered for the carer to be aware of what's happening.
One good piece of advice I’ve read on this forum is that things change, once you figure out how to deal with an issue something else will become an issue. So bear in mind there is no end until the end.
And of course like others have said if the suggested interventions don’t work in your situation then memory care.
If they are having visual or audible hallucinations, then Seroquel may help control the visuals and voices which may allow them to stay in bed longer.
My FW has 2 seroquel scripts for sundowning that she takes every night at bedtime, a fast acting and a time released versions. She still wanders 3 or 4 times a night. But, not for very long and she's (most nights) not mean, hateful or scared.
I can usually just tell her to go back and get in bed before you fall down.
even if it’s a herbal sleeping aid
to help calm her mind
I think the other helpers are correct - your mother may need care home help
However, that doesn't resolve the problem of you missing out on sleep, nor of preventing your LO from wandering outside.
You can't lock them in or make the front door too difficult to open because they would be fire hazards.
Personally, if possible, I would consider a secure memory care facility, so that your LO is kept safe and that you have the rest you need to be at your best. You can't do everything, and you can't be the best caregiver that you want to be if you are sleep deprived.
I did place my Mom. She needed to be safe and I needed a good night sleep. The first night she was in AL I slept thru the night. Heaven.
There are stories all the time about dementia patients that wander off. There was one I read the headlines of yesterday in Florida, they found her, and she is ok but she was in a swamp.
There are lots of things you can do, alarms on the doors so if they do get the door open it will go off.
The stove and cooking is the next huge issue, which is not only a danger to the demted but to everyone in the house.
Their brain is broke you need to protect everyone in the house, you can't fix them, you can only try to keep them safe, or put them where they are safe into memory care.
At this rate, sooner or later they will leave the house at night.
What do you do when you catch them wandering at night?
What if they turn on the stove, or other dangerous activities?
Easier to put the hook and eye latch outside their door high up.
Hopefully they will try to leave and see they can't get out, and go back to bed.
Otherwise time for Memory Care.