My mom has vascular dementia, still lives at home (with a caregiver) and turns 94 in August. I suggested getting a cake and asking her neighbor friends to stop by for a casual open house. Mom is delighted and excited about it. My question is, what suggestions do you have for keeping her from becoming exhausted by the increase in activity in her home that day? I limited it to 2 hours, my invitation was worded, “please stop by for a few moments…” and I plan to seat her away from the front door so that she doesn’t get confused by people walking back and forth in front of her. Any other ideas for keeping her comfortable? She is really looking forward to it. If this happens to be her last birthday, I want it to be fun for her.
Sounds like you have a conscientious plan.
The traffic comes in one at a time from the front door, is escorted to the Guest of Honor, has two minutes (timed) to hug and chat. Then another escort takes the visitor to the back part of the house or porch or whatever, where refreshments are served and GUESTS can all visit with each other.
It doesn't tire the guest of honor, she remains seated or in bed. It can be called off at any time or she can go to lie down in the bedroom if it is just too much for her.
Personally I wouldn't want people hugging me if I were very elderly or sick with a depleted immune system, because I don't want to get Covid, RSV or any other plague that they might spread to me in my weakened state. (But maybe if terminally ill, a person wouldn't care. )
Have people wear name tags with their relationship to her written on them. Coach them/remind them not to ask "Do you remember...?" type questions. Maybe consider an organized reception-style line so that multiple people don't all come at her at once.
I hope she enjoys her special day!
What overwhelmed my Mom in Church was everyone coming up to her and hugging her. I had to stop taking her to Church. Ask that people just say "Hi, its Jo Ann". Not "Do you remember me" May not want the hugging or kissing unless she initiates it. One person at a time talking to her. Not everyone trying to have a conversation at once. Keep it simple.
And I would just allow one person at a time to approach her so she doesn't get overwhelmed by that as well.
And perhaps with little breaks between each visitor.
And if and when your mom starts to show some agitation, please make sure that you're honoring that and take her to her bedroom to get away from it all.
Let your mom be your guide as to what she's enjoying and what she's not.
Hope it works out well for you all.