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My brother with Alzheimer’s is cared for 4 hours a day from a caretaker who comes to his home. They will drive him to the the store and Doctor appts as well. Is it acceptable for them to be treated to lunch on a regular basis after such outings? Thank you!

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My mother loved a hamburger, onion rings, and a strawberry milkshake so once a week we got that fast food hamburger meal for lunch or dinner.

In the south (and coming from a blue collar family), we always offer people something. I kept bottled water in the freezer and fridge so I could offer one of each to delivery men during our hot summer. Kept paper cups for hot coffee in the winter. When I had an awkward or heavy package, it was always set inside my door by the delivery man, even though that was against the rules (no I didn't ask). Beyond thinking I got greater service, I always thought it was the right thing to do, to make life a little easier for someone working hard. In my tradition, I purchased a meal for a caregiver who feeds my love one. I don't believe in eating in front of the person even if they are a paid caregiver.
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Becky04469 Sep 2022
I'm from WV and was taught to always offer water, coffee, a glass of ice tea, and not to eat in front of people without offering them something. Now that I have aides working in my home I always keep things and buy them lunch or dinner if I order out.
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Yes, its acceptable. I think when you do this for someone it shows you appreciate them. I had two guys working on my kitchen a few years back. I offered them something to drink and if I had them cookies I baked. When they were done the one job the guy told me we were the only people that asked them if they needed something to drink and offered them food. He said thank you. REALLY! My Mom always offered workman something to drink and baked goods.
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Cover999 Sep 2022
Yes Really! Many homeowners probably aren't in the giving mood when they get the bill.

When mom drove she used to send Christmas cards to the mechanics who did work on her car; it did not mean a thing. They charged her even when correcting their mistakes, and when she did not have her car anymore, there was no offer to help her find another one or thank you note/card for the many years she patronized their business.

Out of curiosity, did these guys take some off the bill or charge you the same price as those who did not offer drinks or food?
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Maryannmm, any time the caregiver took my Dad for a doctor appointment, Dad loved to stop at Burger King, it was a real treat for him and would treat the caregiver to lunch.
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Cover999 Sep 2022
LOL Lunch at BK with all that junk food?
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I think that hospitality should be observed when having a caregiver take you out to eat.

I am a firm believer that whomever does the inviting, picks up the check. It stops people from inviting you to buy them a meal.

If you work around my home, you get water, sodas, and whatever we are eating, if you want. It has always been appreciated by the workers. They have ALL done an outstanding job and have told me if I ever need anything to call. Some send greetings on all holidays and just to say hi. It's about relationships.

I think a little human kindness is so appreciated by all recipients, especially since it seems so rare in 2022.

If they are doing a great job, this will show them that their efforts are noticed and appreciated. That's how loyalty is built.
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My client always wanted to go to lunch and her daughter (with whom she lived) was a real control freak over mom's food intake. When I was with her, if she wanted red meat (daughter did NOT approve) we'd stop for a burger. She always insisted I get something too. A Jr bacon cheeseburger at Wendy's was a dollar, I think.

She would literally moan in joy over that little hamburger. I remember once that I had bought a large Diet Coke and she had a water. She picked up my DC and practically drained it dry--and said "Oh, dear, did I take your drink? That was FANTASTIC" (Her daughter didn't let her have soft drinks. After that, she always got a small DC with her burger.

SHE was my client, not her daughter. After this incident, my client always kept a 6 pack of DC in her bedroom, for 'me' but I'd pour her half a can.

If I was working a 6 hr shift, I HAD to eat something. I worked for minimum wage--which at that time was $9 an hour.

And no, we did not eat at fancy places. My client just wanted a dang HAMBURGER. And I always put down on my log that we had eaten 'out' and how much it had cost. (NEVER more than $10, usually about $6).
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Yes, very acceptable
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That's a courtesy to someone paid to perform a service. It's up to you, but you shouldn't feel obligated.
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Cover999 Sep 2022
They're getting their "lunch money" when you pay for their service.
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Perfectly acceptable if there is no pressure by the caretaker and no obligation for them to eat if they don’t want to. As long as the cost isn’t a problem, it can be a social thing when your brother doesn’t like to eat alone. I’m visualizing $10 drive through meals on the way home, not $50 sit down dining.

I remember picking up a meal as part of the post doctor or dental visits ritual well into my teens. My Mom had a more frugal approach when I drove her later in life, she’d get an ice cream cone or a burger, but take the burger home so she could get a soda out of the fridge rather than pay fast food prices for soda.

If cost is a factor, and you are the POA, you may need to discuss a budget and how to limit the expense to an appropriate level.
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