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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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My mother doesn't remember current events but does have great past recall memory. My brother was always her favorite, and she loved children and music. She, also, still thinks her mother and father are alive. During her times of anxiety, I put on a DVD of any movie with children. She immediately calms down and becomes engaged with it. Or, a conversation about or promise that my brother is coming over calms her. She always finds comfort in knowing that we are going to visit "moma Jean," her mother. I've found that being alone keeps her fearful, so I'm always in the same room with her. Unfortunately, we have to pretend a lot with her, but, whatever keeps her calm and peaceful, I'm willing to try. Medicating is not one of my options as my mother is very healthy and does not require any other meds. Her only problem is dementia.
I play music that he loves, a tape about his childhood that his sister recorded for him, use Bach Rescue Remedy and, if it is very bad, give him Diazepam that the doctor has prescribed. Fortunately the last is not often needed these days. He also has ayurvedic herb Bacopa, which seems to be working. And when the sun is shining a walk in his wheelchair is a welcome distraction. Good luck.
I wrote my mom a note that is right next to her bed so she can read it every morning as soon as she wakes up. It explains the situation, gives hope, explains our love, gives her direction on what to do next and basically it's meant to calm her down. One of my brothers thought it was a stupid idea, but after my mother explained the comfort she receives from it, even he changed his mind. She's had it four days now and she's had four good days in a row! Good luck to you and your husband, it's very hard.
You remove yourself from the situation and he will calm himself. Exercise, exercise, and give him a project he can do. Music in his long-term memory calms. This too shall pass...
This is your husband. No one knows him better or loves him more than you. He is probably afraid and on a lucid day he knows he is going to die from this. Just hug him every time he is upset. Be honest. Tell him you know he may be afraid and you know he is sick and it is not good but that you will be right there with him always through everything. My husband had Alzheimer's. He passed away when he was 62. I always reassured him and I kept my promises. You can do no more. What life deals you is not always fair but he will feel safe if he knows you will be there.
Jacobsonbob's idea is fantastic.Writing reminders and helpful stories like the written by Jacobsonbob it can be very effective. Just remember to keep it short and simple.
ilovemom2--Thanks for letting us know; this looks very helpful.
I have to go through a routine as follows:
Mother) Why did Dad die? I) He was 90 and was very weak because of his health problems. His heart finally gave out. M) I mean YOUR father, not mine. I) YOUR father died 31 years ago at age 89. MY father (your husband) died this past May, and he was 90. M) I thought he was only about 40. I) No, he was born in 1923 and died in 2014. He was over 90. M) Oh, I miss him so much. I) I know; [my sister] and I do too.
I've thought of writing something to summarize this so I don't have to go through this routine every day. Mother is hard of hearing (her hearing aid got lost in the nursing home), so her reading this would save my voice (and, admittedly, my patience, too!).
Silence and a chocolate chip cookie. That's right, silence. Chew gum, whistle, sing along with the radio, but if there is one thing a man appreciates, it is a Silent Woman with a chocolate chip cookie. Many a man left his wife and kept his dog because the dog never said a word.
Contact the local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association, they will be able to give you information on behavior management including calming techniques. Music is a great way to calm, you can also use scenic DVD's or maybe listen to books on tape if he liked to read. Look at his past interests and modify those activities, for instance if he liked to build or repair things, you can purchase pvc pipes for him to put together or you can attach to a board a lock and chain, a slide bolt, a light switch etc and make an activity board. If there is a local adult medical day care near you, check it out, he may enjoy attending and having a chance to socialize and keep busy. It would also give you a break. If he is more agitated in the late afternoon or evening, try behavioral interventions first but if that doesn't work, speak with his physician about his agitation; the doctor may prescribe a low dose of a medication that would help the agitation. Sometimes you learn what works through trial and error, if one thing doesn't work, try something else. Good luck.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My husband had Alzheimer's. He passed away when he was 62. I always reassured him and I kept my promises. You can do no more. What life deals you is not always fair but he will feel safe if he knows you will be there.
I have to go through a routine as follows:
Mother) Why did Dad die?
I) He was 90 and was very weak because of his health problems. His heart finally gave out.
M) I mean YOUR father, not mine.
I) YOUR father died 31 years ago at age 89. MY father (your husband) died this past May, and he was 90.
M) I thought he was only about 40.
I) No, he was born in 1923 and died in 2014. He was over 90.
M) Oh, I miss him so much.
I) I know; [my sister] and I do too.
I've thought of writing something to summarize this so I don't have to go through this routine every day. Mother is hard of hearing (her hearing aid got lost in the nursing home), so her reading this would save my voice (and, admittedly, my patience, too!).
Many a man left his wife and kept his dog because the dog never said a word.
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