My 84 year old father-in-law was "fooled" into a memory care AL by his new wife and those were here words 3 weeks ago. She is 21 years younger and married only 8 years. He has been diagnosed with dementia for just under 2 years. They went to lunch and then she took him to the assisted living. When he turned around she was gone. His new wife had not discussed any concerns with handling his care to my husband or his brother who had visited from out of town just 2 weeks prior. He does have impaired short term memory but is able to perform all ADL's andwalks with a rollator. He needs help with meds, finances, and driving. She even had a Certified Senior Advisor who also did not discuss this with us but come to find out she makes a 1 month commission on placement in homes she has contracts with (completely unethical in my opinion). Dad is miserable, depressed, and crying for us to take him out of there. Home care was never considered and he has 2 long term care policies and money to pay for home care. We are able to handle his care in another state and will hire caregivers as needed. We live in a one story home, have an extra room, and I am a physical therapist. Facility will not discuss much with us because his wife did not place us on HIPAA and will not return calls. Can he leave with us because he has not been deemed incompetent by a court of law or will facility not let us in? He is adamant he wants out to come with us and is definitely suffering from relocation stress syndrome. Not to mention coronavirus adding to our difficulty! Please help!!
I would check and make sure what his policies cover homecare.
This may not be easy as your fathers wife apparently has done nothing wrong to jeopardize your fathers health or safety so you can not say he has been neglected.
You also mention nothing about physical abuse. (no mention of financial abuse)
Getting admitted as a resident to Memory Care is not as simple as going in and signing a contract / lease. He had to be evaluated, a doctor had to sign documents stating that he is not cognizant.
Talk to an Elder Care Attorney so see where you stand on this then listen to what they say are your options and if they say this would be a difficult fight accept that. No lone wants a long drawn out fight...except maybe the lawyers they are the only ones that "win" when it comes to things like this!