To give some background, my grandfather is 80 years old, suffers from the effects of multiple strokes, heart-attacks. He has a defibrillator, diabetes that requires insulin shots, high blood pressure, he’s a very big fall risk as his right leg does not work properly, he has a permanent catheter. My grandmother is almost 80, is heavy set, very weak, struggles with diabetes, heart failure with edema, and is almost completely blind among other things. They require around the clock care as they need insulin shots multiple times a day, they are unable to cook for themselves, he can not walk with his walker without someone following to assist, and he has also started wearing diapers because he is to the point where he simply poops himself because he doesn’t feel like or doesn’t remember to go to the bathroom, requiring cleaning multiple times a day. This is not anything his wife can do as she is almost blind. I am 22 years old and quit my job 6 months ago in order to care for them as we have no other family that is willing, not even their kids as they are are basically criminals. I financially can not be out of work any longer. He is currently in a rehab center as he got pneumonia and was very weak. The center is suggesting that we put him into long term care but my grandmother is very against it. He will not have the help and support he needs in order to come home, she knows this but is not wanting to put him in care and instead wants to bring him home. If I speak to the social workers and explain the situation and that it isn’t safe for him to come home, is the rehab facility able to keep him despite my grandmothers wishes?
edited to add: home health care is not an option as it is too expensive. Also to add I am not power of attorney or anything, they have no will or anything set up as I have been trying to get them to for months but my grandmother refuses
Talk to the Social Worker and discuss the fact that he can not get adequate care at home, that it would be unsafe for him and unsafe for grandma. If there is no one else that can provide care it may be necessary to place him in a Skilled Nursing facility.
It seems that many many elders are more than happy to take over their adult children's lives with no thought for the stress or financial burden and pain this causes their caregivers. Let their problems be THEIR problem - it is not and never was yours.
It speaks to your good heart and character that you quit your own job/career at such a young age to assist them, and I hope that you have learned some important life lessons from this decision and results. One of them is the critical importance of setting healthy boundaries in life - even and perhaps especially - with those we love.
From what you write, I think they need full time care and will need to be placed in a long term care facility. The most important thing is to not let them come home unless they have a care plan in place that doesn't involve you.
Take BarbBrooklyn's advice about how to proceed.
Best of luck!
Rehab will petition probate court, the judge will appoint a guardian who most likely will be a lawyer, who will help apply for Medicaid and have him placed into a long care facility. The guardian may bill your parents if there are some assets available. Do not worry about it if there is little left. Us taxpayers will pick up the tab through Medicaid.
If this process gets going, and you live close enough, you can petition probate to appoint you. However you are young and may not understand the annual reports and the accounting you willl need to file. You may even have to take more time off if you choose this route.
I want you to be aware if your grands only income is social security, grandfather's income will go towards his care, so grandma's will be cut. Again, let the court guardian deal with this if you wish to go this route. The process will be familiar to the court apointee.
BTW don't worry about a will because Medicaid will wipe them out. However if there is anything left and no will, you can eventually petition the court as a blood relative after both pass.
Rehab is paid by Medicare. If its found that he has plateaued, no longer progressing or uncooperative, Medicare will have him discharged. If grandmom can no longer care for him, then she needs to have him evaluated for 24/7 care. If found he needs it, then she needs to place him in LTC. Where I live Rehab and LTC are in the same building so an easy transfer.
If no money other than monthly, she will need to apply thru Medicaid claiming Community Spouse. This way she stays in the home, has a car and enough or all of their monthly income to live on. If there r assets, she needs to have them split so Dads half goes to his care and then Medicaid is applied for. An Elder Lawyer can help here.