64 years old, lives in mother in law suite that is not set up for safety. She receives social security and can make her own decisions. She is a Texas resident.
She fell after a UTI and broke arm. She has been a fall risk (fell in past). She does not take good care of herself, lives in her recliner. Unable to be left alone following the most recent accident.
Medicaid only. No one is responsible for her, no POA.
Can she afford an Assisted Living.? Thats 5k or more a month and that depends on the care she needs. Doesn't seem she is ready for Longterm care with Medicaid paying and Medicaid does not usually pay for Assisted Living.
The arm will heal and she can get in home therapy if doctor feels she needs it. What is causing her falls? Can u not put in the safety features she needs.
No to your question. You are not responsible for Moms care. If she is competent, she can sign papers. But SS alone will not pay for her care in an AL and Medicaid will not pick up the slack because she may not fit their criteria for LTC.
That being so, she is responsible for herself. Nobody else is. If she's physically unable to sign a document, the facility can record that and have her consent (to whatever it's about) witnessed by a third party.
Excuse my curiosity, but why is a 64 year old of sound mind unable to be left alone and at risk of falls? - and having recurrent utis, come to that.
I assume it's just the one arm, yes?
She is very mad my brother and I said no to any type of our signature(s).
rollator walker brakes. It would roll away from her and she'd fall. I hated that thing.
Curious, how was MIL's ability getting in/out chairs before the fall?
🤔 Is general fitness an issue?
Or is any *won't* mixed in?
These are thoughts towards future planning..
Anyway, back to the question.
You said MIL is capable - so MIL signs.
If MIL's dominant arm is broken, she can sign the best she can with her functioning arm. A Doctor can be asked write a letter to confirm this status (as backup to why her signature is wonky) if needed.
I have had that pressure to sign as NOK. I asked why me? They had assumed LO could not legally sign, as many new residents (even for respite) could not.
The facility still gently pushed as wanted to ensure the bill got paid... I said no.
No active POA = no sign.
🤔?
Mad to hold the pen & make a wonky signature? (If non-dom hand).
Or mad you won't PAY the bill?
Interesting.
And as others have said, if there is no legally executed durable POA (drafted properly according to your State laws and properly notarized) that is an original document you have; DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING as frankly you have no legal authority to sign. Same if you have no legally executed "Advanced Directive" document naming you as your LO's "medical agent." Again, this would be an original document (not a copy) and drafted according to what is required by your State laws.
If you LO is competent of mind (not your guess; but that NO court and/or physician has made such a decision) then the LO needs to make decisions and to sign themselves whatever paperwork needs signing.
Sounds like she is living in an "in-law suite" with you or your brother? Regardless, before she returns I would strongly advise getting the legal paperwork in order (durable power of attorney for medical and financial affairs, an Advanced Directive document, and a will for her, etc). AND then, also get all her all account information (banks, Social Security, health insurance, credit card, any retirement accounts, etc) AND set all up with on-line access now. You and your brother both need the user names and passwords; then when something happens the next time -- AND IT WILL -- her accounts are on-line, the proper paperwork is in place and either you or your brother can step in to handle her affairs even if that is just temporary.
That said, still DO NOT SIGN any facility papers as you personally but "acting as her POA" and never check the boxes that say "yes, I personally" will pay, will take her back or will handle arranging a safe discharge. Keep the onus on a facility to work out payment with her or Medicaid and for them being responsible -- no you -- for any safe discharge planning when she is discharged. Again, get a lawyer to review any paperwork BEFORE anyone signs anything!
no, don’t sign , she must…
I would image it depends solely on a medical evaluation / determination of her mental / brain abilities, i.e., dementia. If she can make / does make her own decisions, it seems to me that no one else should have to 'sign on the dotted line.' However ... with that said, the only 'next of kin' or person I've had to list on any forms (of importance) is 'in case of emergency."
If she cannot be 'left alone,' as you say, a medical diagnosis appears to be in order / of importance 'now' - have her medical provider evaluate her / cognitive abilities / decline.
She sounds depressed. Is she on any medication? for depression? should she be? Setting herself up to live in a recliner (I know . . . its my go to spot too) is not healthy for her, as you know. Getting her up and out (of the chair, of the house, involved / interested in activities - anything) is needed. And, likely the hardest thing to (encourage her to) do. Still. The writing is on the wall - sit, no exercise, another fall risk . . . she'll end up in a rehab or nursing home ... which comes back full circle to your question here.
If I were you, I would talk to her about setting up a POA.
Does she have the cognition to do this?
This is something that needs to be done in advance of when a POA is needed.
If she says NO, then there is little you can do (w/o medical diagnosis of her incapacitation).
Then ... You must let it go and honor her (self-care of lack thereof) decisions.
And letting go is painful / frustrating ... although essential to your own quality of life / mental, emotional, psychological well being.
Gena Galenski
Touch Matters
It sounds like she just needs some physical and occupational therapy to learn how to use her body to move and navigate her surroundings.
If she has the money, I'd also hire a personal trainer to help her work out at least once a week.
The last thing she needs is to be left sitting or lying. But I have to ask, is she unmotivated to do anything physical? Some people just refuse to put forth the effort to their own detriment.