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I am his Health Proxy and my sister is the alternative proxy.

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Why do you want to do this? Unless you have a good reason, it is not decent behaviour.
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Health Proxy is for you make decisions regarding his medical needs, if, he cannot do so. Has nothing to do with who visits him.
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No. You have no authority to do so.
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Is she behaving in a way that is harmful to his health?

If that is the situation, I would have a talk with the actual family member and see if s/he cant get their spouse to behave in a less imflamatory way.

If that doesnt work, perhaps ask that her visits take place in a public area where her behavior can be observed. Then ask the administrative staff for advice on how to handle this relative.
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