My grandma is 100-yrs-old and she has been in this nursing home for 3 years. She has not been out, away from there this whole time. My aunt has told the nursing home that noone is allowed to take grandma (her mom) away from there without her permission. Grandma is lucid, she knows the date (year, day, etc.). Her eyesight is fading and hearing is pretty much gone, but she wants to get out of there if just for an hour or two! I am the only person, family or otherwise, who goes to see grandma regularly. Grandma's POA only sees her once a month and her other 3 kids havent seen her in almost a year. Neither has any of their own kids. Can my aunt legally keep me from taking grandma out for an hour or two?
Are you prepared for when she tries to grab the steering wheel from you? Or tries to jump out of the moving car (I've had both of those things happen to me with elders).
Is it possible for you to plan visits outside on or very near the facility, bringing a picnic lunch, doing something she likes in the visiting room, bringing photos?
In your situation I’d be more concerned about her general condition, hearing, and vision than getting her physically away from residences, where she’s familiar with her surroundings and caregivers.
She’s lucky to have a loving grandchild. What any of the rest of her family does or doesn’t do on her behalf is something apart from what your visits mean to her.
I would suggest if you get agreement to take your grandmother out for a trip you start with a brief site seeing drive with maybe a stop at a drive through for some coffee or ice cream. You should also plan for a second person to be with you so one person can concentrate on driving and someone else can concentrate on how grandmother is handling the trip.
Yes, the POA can prevent you from removing your grandmother from the care facility. He/she is responsible for grandmother's care and may not want to "risk" problems. Are there any gardens in the care facility? Sometimes just getting outside for a few minutes is extremely enjoyable - and the support staff is still available if there are any problems.
Tastier food can be brought in. Surely there is a view out a different window, different balcony, garden or courtyard? But you said she can't see or hear well...
Have you had full responsibility for someone 100 yrs old? Know how to safely assist her? With mobility, whether with a walker or keep her safe from falling in a wheelchair? Manage toileting?
So I ask again, why take Grandma out? For her? Or for you?
Sounds like a nice idea - to gift her some freedom. A nice wish.
Despite your.good intentions, duty of care must come before your wish.
I love that you are so concerned to do what you can for your grandmother.
Now to the problem. You say your grandmother who is 100 years old is saying "I just need to get away from here for a few hours". You merely tell her that you aren't allowed to take her out and you make instead the best of it where she is. Bring in a picnic and set it up. Read to her or watch TV if she is able. Do a Rick Steves travel film with her and tour Europe. Make a scrapbook of old photos if she can see. Whatever she CAN do you do with her and you should likely let go of taking her out.
The other thing you can try is speaking with Aunt. Hat in hand go to Grandmother's daughter and ask what you can do, and what she thinks best. Your closeness now with your aunt is likely the best gift you can give your grandmother.
I wish luck to all.
"My aunt has told the nursing home that nobody is allowed to take grandma her mom away from there without her permission."
Have you asked for Aunts permission? We used to take DHs Aunt out for icecream not far from the facility. Someone ur Aunts age tires easily. We had to stop taking her when her legs gave out and she was wheelchair bound. No longer could get her in and out of the car.
Moms NH had a garden with a Gazebo. I took Mom out there on nice days.