My dad has been through so much the last few years. Dialysis, stroke, aphasia, but he met each challenge head on with a truly amazing amount of determination. Everything was improving, until now. I just found out he has lung cancer, the slow growing type (non small, I think). I feel very guilty as although he seemed to be getting better, sometimes I felt like I was about to crack with all I have to do. I was just wondering last week how much longer I could on like this. I feel just awful, and am dreading telling him. If anyone has any advice on 1) how to break this news to someone, & 2) how not to feel guilty over wanting all the work & difficulties of care taking to end. I'm all ears.
Are you needing to tell him you can't care for him any longer? That's never, ever easy, but know that no good parent wants to see their child give up their life for them. Telling my mom she could no longer stay in her home ( because of my inability to keep her safe there) was the hardest single thing I've ever done.
You are in my thoughts, dear.
Depending upon your dad's cognitive skills AND his level of anxiety about things in general, I'd wait to tell him all this until the day before the appointment. Maybe even the morning of the appointment. YOU are the best judge of how your father deals with this kind of news. If he is the kind of person who gets agitated, or if he's going to ask you a million questions that YOU don't have answers to, delay telling him until the day of the appointment.
However, if your dad still mostly has his cognitive skills, likes to research on the internet and such, tell him in advance so that he can have HIS questions ready for the doc.
My son-in-law’s grandmother was diagnosed with a fast growing, inoperable cancer (I can’t remember what kind), and within 6 months she was gone. During those 6 months she elected to have treatment which made her very sick and was hospitalized several times from the side effects. I don’t know if her last months would have been better if she had decided not to get treatment.
Several very good suggestions have already been given to you about how to tell him. Does he have the mental capacity to understand and weigh treatment options?
I pray that you sleep well tonight. Years ago I read in a morning devotional something I have never forgotten: The best bridge betwee hope and despair is often a good night’s sleep. Hugs to you.
I'm not saying this will be the case for your father. His whole situation and prognosis may be quite different. I'm just saying that sometimes people accept sad facts more easily than we might expect. I hope things go well for you.
I was simply passing forward a gift from the past, where I was given scripts. Pass one on in the future, please. They are not hard to do for otbers!
Now, medical science is coming up with a vaccine to wipe out certain cancer tumors. The vaccine will be starting soon in the human trial studies.
My elder loved one does not have Ca of the lung.
So get a second opinion.