My father is strong. He often holds on to side of bed or chair, gets a grip and will not stand up, tho he is still able to some degree. The gait belt doesn't always help and gets him really agitated anyway. I know he has severe arthritis in his hips but he does have pain meds. Otherwise he's in good health. Are there tricks to getting someone to move? Do I quit trying and leave him in bed? I'll need help even rolling him side to side for changing. Suggestions?
1) Get sufficient in-home help and in-home equipment to continue to care for your father there. Some of it will be covered by Medicare. Some of it will have to come out of Dad's assets.
2) Place Dad in a facility that can deal with his dementia and also his arthritis. Visit him often. Have breakfast with him before you go off on a job search (and hopefully soon a job) and/or tuck him in at night. Be a loving daughter to him but give up the day-to-day hands-on caring to professionals.
3) Continue trying to do it all alone. Damage your back and damage your mental health. Perhaps come to resent your father and then feel guilty for that feeling!
Late stage dementia usually leads to placement in long-term care centers or hospice houses. It is very difficult to handle effectively at home, and nearly impossible for one person to provide all services needed.
I send you warm wishes. This is a hard job!
For example, Getting up from the Love Seat js particularly difficult because she is warm and cozy. First I sit down next to her -cuddle a bit enter her warm cozy world to Come out of it together, ' Then I will slide a hand behind her just a bit to rub her Shoulders. oh-She Likes that! Soon I Can get her to move forward to the edge of the seat So I can rub her lower back. I have her Walker already sitting jn front of her Only once she is fully engaged with me do I initiate standing -but I still don't say it. I may notice something across the room that needs fixed. Or talk about my being hungry And Wanting lunch. Still rubbing her back- Now with my hand at the Small of her back giving a slight pressure out and up with my movements I say "Lets take care of this or that" Then a moment later "Let's do this Now and I Stand my hand Still on her, Generally She Comes right up with me.
I can tell you for sure it hurts, every stinkin joint hurts, you may want to stand and yet your body is not willing to do it. You find yourself sitting there on the edge of the chair counting, 1, 2, 3..pull....and hopefully up I go....then I have to groan because every step hurts!
I too would suggest that you see about getting some in home help. If Dad stays in the same position all the time he will get bed sores, which are horrible to try and heal. I can attest to the fact that it is painful, pills or not!
Good luck and God Bless!
So, I've started getting more help but it's the short-term option.
Thanks all and keep in touch!
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