you do.
Hello e1-
Damn I needed that! Feels like a ton of weight has been removed! YES my fellow caregivers, after years of blockage, I finally took a shift today. Several shifts actually. And I feel sooo much better. I’d like to share with you what my shift consisted of- ME. That’s right, my shift was made up of ME. Here’s what it was like:
I got up this morning and took care of breakfast for mom, fed the pets and while having my coffee, I sat in front of mom, asked her to please mute her squawk box (tv) and clearly explained to her that today between X and X (two hours) I will be unavailable because I will be taking a massive shift. I told her I would be available after X o’clock until X at which time I will again be unavailable while I relieve myself with another two hour shift. I nicely explained that while I am shifting, she will have to get up to get her ice water if she wanted it, that if the remote fell she would have to pick it up, if kitty wants out she will have to oblige kitty by getting up and opening the door, if someone rings the doorbell well hot damn it will be up to her to answer it or not, etc.. I emphasized to her how much EVERYONE HATES it when their shift gets interrupted, she agreed, I said good, thank you mom and went about taking my shift. One word my friends- EPIC!
When you take a shift, that is YOUR time- you don’t share your shift with others, or only with others worthy of your shift if you choose to share it. Prepare your LO for your shift time, plan your shift as much as possible so it’s not interrupted. Make sure everyone is fed, propped up facing the squawk box, has fresh water and whatever else and then get to it- take your much earned shift for the next two hours. The relief a good shift brings is paramount to your well being and sanity.
In order for success, we can only take small bites of the elephant instead of one huge chomp of the elephant. Making sure you routinely shift will make each bite more flavorful.
Well, gotta go, almost done taking my shift!
XOXOXO
susan
ps- my point for those who missed it- since we can’t escape our caregiver roles for days or months for respite, incorporate breaks for yourself into your daily routine duties several times a day; stay flexible, but even one hour for YOURSELF can save your MENTAL HEALTH!
Great to “see” you how are you? Did you get a chance to check out the Earth Wind and Fire video I mentioned on another post? Please do my friend - start the day busting a happy move! I agree, we all should be full of shift- as caregivers, we aren’t able to ‘runs’ away for respite so if we take several shifts daily, we feel so much better!
You know, I really wish there was a way for all of us to meet each other , kinda like a reunion minus the re since it would be everyone’s first time meeting. I’d luv to say thank you and give a hug to those in this caregiverhood because all of you have literally salvaged my sanity and kept me from cardiac arrest ( because I can safely and honestly vent here). Many a mind has been saved because of this website’s members and it will continue saving by sharing our tumultuous tales of TLC.
Boogie down Ahmijoy, have a great day & hope to “see” you again soon!
XOXOXO
susan
ps- I may have stumbled upon a caregiver slogan or type of mantra in this post:
Just one hour for yourself will save your mental health.
What do you think? :0 !!!
Just remember though, there are some of us this was not or is not an option. Those taking care of people with Dementia don't have this luxury because the people cannot comprehend what ur are trying to get across.
XOXOXO
susan
However you make it happen, have a great safe holiday weekend e1 !
Learning to take as good care of ourselves as we do of those we love is, indeed, a step by step process... Start small and the possibilities grow, especially as guilt for doing so declines...
It's an important message for everyone here... Thank you for sharing... #andwebreathe
👍👍👍👏👏👏👏👏👍👍👍
will visit this site daily if I can . Best of luck to us all .
Tami
I try to anticipate my husband’s (generally predictable) needs, but he calls me for something because he doesn’t want to walk, and although I acknowledge him if I’m in the middle of something else, he calls for it again after a few minutes if I’m not fast enough. He then says he didn’t hear me. After a while I feel like a dimwitted employee.
As trivial as it may sound, I had a 90-minute massage the other day and I can’t tell you how much calmer I felt. I can’t afford that on a regular basis but it had been years since someone nurtured ME. I slept really well, and my tension is still gone a few days later.
I wish you the best, and I hope you get a chance to make some time for yourself.
Perfectly said and done!!! Good for you! Keep up taking your SHIFTS!! :) :) :)