Follow
Share

He has details and he did not say anything until he got home for fear. My Father got raped in a NH. He got home yesterday. He was there for 3 weeks sent there by the hospital after a sepsis. He has Parkinson's. Anyway, the guy who repeatedly raped him told him he was going to kill him if he told anyone. So Dad was afraid to tell anyone till he got home. He said he picked him because he could not scream. Because when you have Parkinson's you can only whisper. So he told in great detail what happened to him. And we are sure he is telling us the truth. But he is so weak that we don't want to tell the police. There is no evidence because Dad said "he" always cleaned me up afterwards.
I know this would not shock anyone who has heard about senior abuse in nursing homes. But this is my father and I am not sure how to proceed. I don't think they will believe him because sometimes he says things that are Parkinson's related dementia.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
I agree with kitch that rapist must be stopped. Even if there is no proof, any complaint must be taken seriously. He is a sociopath preying on the elderly. He must be stopped. Get a lawyer threaten to sue.

Go see the police, whoever handles sex crimes, explain the situation, ask their advice. You don't have to involve your father. This man must be stopped. Even if they cant prosecute; they will investigate the man, and how this could happen in a nursing home. They can put cameras, and catch him in the act.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

This has been horrible for you. I'm glad you went to the police. Don't feel bad if you end up getting nowhere. The main thing is to let your father know how much you love him. You are a good caring child.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

OMG your poor father! Could your dad identify the person? I know it's hard, but I'd report it to both the nursing home, the hospital that sent him there, and the police. This guy may have a prior record or there may be other accusations against him and this may be the one that trips the trigger to getting him punished. You can't let this person go on raping other helpless old men.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

What a difficult situation. I agree that you do have to report what your father told you. I would go to the police and the management of the NH. However, if there is any possibility that the tale is not true, please let the police/NH know that. You wouldn't want an employee punished for something that wasn't true. That would be devastating. But you would not want the behavior to go unpunished if what your father said is true.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I agree with JessieBelle. He COULD hallucinate something like that. I'm not saying he did, and I would go on the assumption that it is true, but leave the door open for a little doubt.

Do get him to a doctor to have his bottom checked, and ask them to treat it as a possible rape. At the very least, if he has an injury, that should be treated.

What a horrible situation for both of you! God bless you and your father.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Since your post was four days ago, I sincerely hope you called the police and got your DAD to a doctor immediately so possible DNA could be collected. Also, like the other poster says, there may be evidence of redness, tears or bruising that could be documented. You wouldn't want it to be your Dad's word against someone else's, but DNA speaks for itself. There would be physical evidence if your Dad was raped repeatedly. If there's no physical evidence, then you might consider that it may not have happened and, maybe, he just doesn't want to go back to the NH so he thought of the worst thing he could. Either way, an immediate examination was imperative.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I know this is little consolation at this time but for all that have someone in a facility, I recommend a Nanny Cam. I purchased mine through BrickhouseSecurity The SVAT Alarm Clock Hidden Camera worked well for me.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

The more ultimate issue for me right now is, the rapist is still there hurting someone else, obviously. But we must proceed with caution. I don't forget for a minute that my Dad was the only one. He was not the first and he is not the last. I need to handle this thing as fast and as safe for my parent who has been abused. He does not even know that I know about this. This is nuts. It's a real moral problem for me my friends. Do I put my dying Father through this when it would only result in his pain? OR...Do I fight crime in Kentucky from Texas with no witnesses?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Get him to a doctor right away, the can check for bruises, etc, right now! Then call the police asap and file a report Thats one more reason my Mom will never go into a nursing home. Poor thing omg!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Park35, what has happened with this? You are wise to proceed with caution. I once knew a woman with dementia. She also thought she was being sexually abused by a neighbor. This was very real to her. But the neighbor lived upstairs and was happening through the ceiling of her apartment. The facility where your dad is was wise to put the person on leave until everything can be figured out.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter