My Dad is probably in his final days or week. He is on morphine, lorazapam and other drugs. He has painful cancer on his face and sleeps most of the day. Hospice says he is in transition. When he is due for his pain meds he will try to get up out of bed. My mom has to hold him back because if he gets up, he will fall. I feel bad that we can't let him up and have to encourage him to lay back down. Today he sat up, held on to my husband and muttered "get me out of here". My Mom reassured him he is at home. I'm curious why he want to "get out of here" and where he wants to go. I feel bad basically that maybe we are not giving him what he needs. Is this normal behavior for someone dying? I've never dealt with death before. When he tries to get up we have to re-medicate him. Today he kept sitting up then we finally realized he needed to pee, even though he has diapers on. He can barely talk due to the cancer and being end of life, plus the meds. Is there an easier way to know what he wants? Thank you.
It is common for people to want to "go home". Even though they don't really know what it means anymore. I would just come up with some vague, reassuring phrase that you can all use to answer his "get me out of here" request. "We'll talk to the doctor and see what we can do" type of thing.
I imagine it is hard to know what he wants. Like with a youngster, look at if his basic needs are met and that he's not in pain, and that's about all you can do. Hold his hand and let him feel the love.
Another thing you can do is not give him a full dose of medications every four hours but rather give him a bit every half hour or so. My dad's hospice nurse did that with his lorazepam, and it kept his agitation under control because the level of medication in his bloodstream stayed constant instead of going up, then wearing off. I would have your mom do that with your dad's morphine and lorazapam, too, or at least ask hospice what they think about doing that.