HELP!!! My Dad is still going Bananas over "missing" pants that aren't missing. He's got in his head that he has more dark pants than he's ever had, and no amount of input from the AL staff or me will convince him otherwise. We'll change the subject which works for a while, but he brings this up DAILY.
He's accused me of being condescending when I help him count his pants. He yells at the staff, and he's even threatened another resident thinking that he stole his pants.
I know it's the disease talking, but can I divert his attention permanently? This is really testing my nerves.
there might be something else besides seraquil? It's SO hard, but live and learn- no guilt (heart)
Shirts, polo, various............................. 8 no.
Shirts, cotton, l/s, check...................... 4 no.
Socks, ankle, black.............................. 10 pairs
Socks, sports, white............................. 3 pairs
Trousers, twill, black.....
You get the idea.
We had these lists at my first boarding school. And checks at the beginning, middle and end of term. Oh God the misery of it. How come everyone else had either every single item or at least a valid explanation for anything missing, and come to my bed and there was like one pair of gym pumps and a cardigan with its buttons hanging off...
Thought I'd got over that some time ago :/
He's currently on Seroquel, but he refuses to take it during the day (he thinks it's a sleeping pill and accuses the staff and me of trying to poison him).
I'm going to ask his psych if a different med will help. In the meantime, I will continue to deal with it. Sometimes I feel so guilty for getting frustrated with him...
As Jessie writes from long experience, there may be no way to overcome this obsession. But I'd try sympathizing with him, validating his concerns, and giving him an option for solving the problem. It will cost the price of some pants, and it may not work, but I'd give it a try before giving up.
Also, an anti-anxiety or antidepressant might be called for.
And, Tinyblu, hugs to you! This is not in any way your fault.
Maybe they get a feeling of general unease, then look for something that must be causing it. The fixate on something, then assign some blame. In your father's case his pants are gone so someone took them. You can "replace" them, but he'll still be stuck on the ones that are missing.
I don't know if antidepressants would help. We tried different ones with my mother and it didn't help. They might work with your father, though, so it's worth a try if you want to go that route.
Has the facility expressed concern over his yelling and threatening comments? I'd be surprised if they haven't. Yelling at staff and threatening other residents is normally not tolerated for long in a regular AL. I might discuss that with the staff, as I don't know of anything that can satisfy your father and stop that behavior. He isn't likely to be convinced he is wrong about the pants.
Sometimes, this phase of behavior passes, but there isn't any rule about how long it might last. I know it's frustrating. Maybe others will have some suggestions.