It has escalated over the past month and I am afraid he will physically harm my wife. He no longer uses the toilet. We beg him. If he gets worked up he defecates in his pants and spreads it on the floor and inside his Levi's. We end up doing his bed linens twice a day. Mopping the floor and giving him a full personal shower. He seems to do it for sexual interests and harasses my wife and asks her if she will sleep next to him on his washable underpad which is spick and span and freshly laundered. He crabs us with feces under hid finger nails and makes nasty stinging scrapes on or arms.
He uses a walker and a cane which he only needed for balance in the hospital 4 years ago. He will say he He needs them to stumble along as slow as possible. My wife and i make suggestions. He ignores us because his real purpose is to have some waitress come to his aid and grope her. He gets angry and lays on the ground kicking, hitting or clawing at us because we are interfering with his grab ass technique of grabbing the waitresses wrist and trying to get a very wet smootch. Now most of the gals keep there distance if the have had a previous encounter with him.
He dawdles to try and set up his oportunity to make his grab. We force him to take daily walks and use exercise equipment like a Schwin exercise bike, a K1 whole body vibrating machine.
So he is now dangerous swinging his cane around at you or the dogs. He can picK up his 4 wheel walker over his head and try to smash someone on the head with it.
If you pull him along wit the walker he can actually run along.
He will not leave a restaurant or get up to go to bed if any drinks or types of food remain. He just slowly picks at it while us and the wait staff stand and watch him.
He will eat 10 or More nutra sweets in his ice tea. He will stuff more packets in his pockets and hide them in his room to sprinkle on ant type od food
It takes 2 hours to get him from the living room to the bathroom and into bed for the night? We have washable under pads in the bed. He will not get up to use the restroom. Every mornIng he is covered head to toes with urine and half the time feces. It is like urine, feces, and refusing to move are his torture weapons of choice. The first 26 months we really found him to be pleasant and cooperative.
Now he is a terror. We welcome any helpful means to deal with this or get some help it got to where he was always defacating at the senior center for attention and they were getting burnt out with his diaper feces obsession.
Suggestions of ways to normalize him a bit and get some private time to ourselves to recharge would be appreciated.
Angel
I agree with everyone here. A NH is your only hope of any kind of peace in your life. He's a danger to himself and others and he shouldn't be living with you and your wife. I know it's a very tough situation and it's a decision you don't want to make but I don't know how you've handles it for this long.