Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I see a common thread here that many "wait for catastrophe." That's something we see every day in the senior living biz. A family will come in, everyone in agreement that their parent is unsafe at home, but no one willing to force the move.
Here's how it plays out... Parent refuses to move. Kids yield to parent's wishes. Parent abuses kids (calling night and day, expecting them to drop everything to attend to their needs, etc...). Parent falls(or has other health crisis), winds up in hospital and at discharge, kids have 24 hours to find a place for parent to live.
So the parent, who could have chosen an independent living community for themselves and enjoyed companionship and social activity is now going to be transferred to a nursing home chosen by their children from whatever facilities happen to have a bed available.
It would be a long story to tell, but in a nutshell, my mother developed terrible, crippling anxiety that prevented her from using services readily available to her that would have allowed her to stay in her suburban home. She realized after several bouts of extremely high blood pressure and what was the beginning of mild cognitive impairment that she should no longer drive, so I think anything that happened panicked her. If her bp went up, even a bit, it was a crisis. If she had a loose bm, it was a crisis. If we tried to arrange for a cab to take her somewhere, she was in a panic lest the driver get lost. My kind SIL arranged for a limo to take her to visit her sister and she describes the trip as "the worst day of my life" because she was convinced the man didn't know where he was going. We got her doctor to put her on anti anxiety meds, but they didn't really help; she became anxious that she was a "drug addict". We moved her to an AL where another family member had several elders living, but it was at once, too much and too little help. We ended up moving her to an IL facility where she was fairly happy (certainly happier than she had been at home). She was able to walk across the parking lot to her doctor appointments, the doctor gave her his cell phone number so she could reach him any time, there was a geriatric psychiatrist who was able to do a better job of medicating her for anxiety. It was mostly the realization that our having to rush to her side when she panicked was going to kill us long before it killed her.
It took us 7 months of suggestions to get Mom to look at AL. Another two months of indecision and finally they talked her into a one month trial, no strings attached. She loves the place, the people and the staff. This will add years to her life, sitting home alone was slowly killing her. It was killing us too.
A doctor made the decision for us. Both my husband and I worked full time, and Mom was left home alone all day. A doctor treating her for bursitis told me that she could no longer live at home. I called her visiting nurse, found the AL she recommended, and moved her in the next day. It was fast, and the best decision I ever made. There is a lot more to the story, but she lived with me for 25 years. It was time to give me a break.
Dko, be guided by what your mom's personality has always been like. And even then...my mother is by nature sweet and compliant except when she's paranoid and delusional. Strokes and tias often lead to vascular dementia. You ARE allowed to say that you need your mom to be cared for by professionals.
I decided this at least 6 months ago. Sadly, my 83 year old mother, with dementia, is refusing. I'm walking that very blurry line between respecting her wishes by taking over as much as I can, while trying not to enable. In the meantime, as harsh as it is to say, we're waiting for the catastrophic event which will leave her no choice.
When my mother was diagnosed early on with ALZ, he biggest fear was that she would be forced to leave her home. One exhausting night after an argument over nothing, she escaped all my preventative locks and alarms and started wandering the streets. It was January, snowing, she had no coat and was barefoot. I didn't know she was missing until a police officer found her and returned her. She was fine and in great spirits. A neighbor called because she had been trying to get into other people's houses, looking for home. She no longer knew her own home as home, so it no longer mattered. We got her into a ALZ place the next day.
It is not an easy decision to make. My Mother was NOT doing well at home alone after my Father passed away. She was not eating she would lock herself out of the house repeatedly, she could not work the TV!!! Many many things that caused us to be running over to her house many times a day! The basic bottom line was she was lonely. WE moved her to Independent Senior Housing and she really likes it! She has a small but lovely two bedroom apartment with ALL her own things. She gets one meal a day and housekeeping in the dining room with other folks, she also gets housekeeping once a week. I set up her medicine and get her groceries. This has worked well for us. She does seem to really enjoy it. There are activities that she can participate in and yet if she wants to be by herself she can go into her apt and shut the door. Maybe you could find something like it in your area. take care...
There are many health issues that dictate a move is necessary but it's usually a catastrophic event such as a bad fall or stroke that tips the scales. It's impossible to be a sole caregiver 24/7/365.
IsntEasy, I agree that this is usually the way things play out. Unfortunately, this is often the only way to "keep peace in the family". Rather than start a family feud, children wait until a higher authority, like the doctor or hospital social worker makes the call. That way, the ailing parent puts the blame on them, rather than on the child. In the case of my MIL, her daughter, my husband's sister, wanted her mother to stay in her home so that she would have a place to stay during her summer vacations. It took her years to get over being mad, but at least we could put the blame on the social worker.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Here's how it plays out... Parent refuses to move. Kids yield to parent's wishes. Parent abuses kids (calling night and day, expecting them to drop everything to attend to their needs, etc...). Parent falls(or has other health crisis), winds up in hospital and at discharge, kids have 24 hours to find a place for parent to live.
So the parent, who could have chosen an independent living community for themselves and enjoyed companionship and social activity is now going to be transferred to a nursing home chosen by their children from whatever facilities happen to have a bed available.
See All Answers