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My wife (69) has early onset dementia and I am caring for her at home. I went to an attorney to have changes made to our will, POA, DPOA, have the house put in my name, etc. My wife could not sign the documents. She has been having problems with writing and cannot sign her name at all.


At the initial appointment with the attorney, I was told that just some sort of mark on the page would work. When it came to the actual signing, my wife could barely put a mark on the page (a signature is very confusing and frustrating for my wife) and it was obvious to the attorney she did not understand the content of the documents. The attorney, of course, could not notarize the documents. So, I signed my set of documents.


I met with the attorney a week later and was told that the only thing that can be done is for me to apply for guardianship. I was also told that, with guardianship, my wife could not have a will. The court would determine distribution of her asset upon her death. Also, the probability of the court approving transfer of the deed to my name and a transfer to one of our children upon my death if I pre-decease my wife is probably nill.


Guardianship does not look simple, and it does cost (I was told $1500 - $1800). Several aspects of guardianship are on-going and seem to be time consuming (taking classes, accounting for my wife’s income and expenses, home visit, etc.). BTW, I live in Ohio.


Last week we had an appointment with a neurologist. They needed to have my wife sign her name to some papers. I told them she can’t sign her name. They asked if I had POA. I said no, my only alternative is to obtain guardianship. They just said OK and filed the papers with a note.


I was going to refinance our mortgage while interest rates are low, but now I don’t think that will be possible since my wife could not sign the loan documents.


Obviously, signing the documents would have been much easier, but my wife was not capable of that. Has anyone had any similar experiences? It seems as though inability to sign a name would be a common problem for people with dementia.


Thank you.

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Yes, 1500 to 1800 is cheap.

My daughter just refinanced her home and found out that the payments she made previously do not count towards her credit score. Its like she got a whole new loan.
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Creque, I'm sorry to read of this situation, and the predicament of attempting to resolve critical issues.

I have a vague recollection that this happened at one of the law firms for which I worked, but I can't remember how it was handled.  It was a unique situation.  I do recall one instance when a camera was brought to a home and the individual was recorded as stating his/her desires, but I believe that cognancy wasn't an issue.

Given that dementia has invaded end of life choices, I would think that the big law firms with well established practices would have developed some option, although it may be as MAC states, there are no other options other than guardianship.   Just to comfort yourself, I would research large law firms with established estate planning and probate departments, call one of the senior attorneys and raise the same questions you've raised here.    (I'm not questioning the validity of MAC's advice, just wondering how major law firms are addressing this issue and if they've found alternate solutions.)

If guardianship is in fact the only method, then you can proceed knowing that you've explored potentially alternate methods.   (I always like to explore as many options as I can; there's always something I haven't yet encountered, and sometimes it's a good solution.)

I did do some research, but there are a lot of cites to check out, and I haven't one that's specifically on point.

I also would get quotes from other top law firms; the charge this firm quoted seems awfully low to me.  You want to make sure that ALL the affected issues are addressed.

Your profile doesn't indicate the state in which you live; that would help, as I found a variety of information from different states, and there are some very technical differences.
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Your wife isn't competent to sign any legal papers, so stop trying. I'm stunned an attorney would have even allowed you to try. It's highly unethical.

If title to your house is held as joint tenants with rights of survivorship, you don't need to be changing the title anyway.

You shouldn't have a joint will anyway -- that's not a thing. You should have your own will, and as the spouse of your wife, I'm fairly certain you'd inherit all her assets upon her death, unless she has children of her own from another marriage. Then you'd get 50%, and they'd split the other 50% of her assets.

Frankly, I'd get another attorney's opinion. I feel like this guy's giving you some weird advice.

As for the loan, contact a mortgage company and ask how they'd handle a refi. Don't assume -- ask.
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