At first, I believed/trusted everything DH said about his care at a very reputable AL facility. Now he occasionally says stuff that sounds scary, but I am beginning to suspect it is a form of mild paranoia. For example, he will say that so-and-so told him that he (the caregiver) was the "boss" of that floor and was in charge - which is not true; there is a care director and an associate care director who do that. Before, I would complain to the higher-ups, but now I am not so sure. How to determine the truth of DH's complaints without raising a fuss?
If he is well cared for, take what he says with a grain of salt. Try not to get too wound up.
There is a learning process with caregiving as well, as the disease progresses one has to learn to deal with the day to day changes and not go off the deep end over every little thing.
If so this is likely the most common characteristic of it. It often starts with blaming other things for a problem you are having. Say operating a phone, a TV remote. It is the fault of the object, not your inability to figure it out. It moves to other things.
My brother died before his Early Lewy's could progress, and probablly the most common sign he had anything was his tendency to think people were taking or wanted to take his money or his last precious items in his ALF. Thought they were watching when he signed out for a walk, etc. Tended to think that the people he wasn't the most fond of would take his stuff if he left his room unlocked.
It's quite sad, but it happens.
There may be half-truths, such as DH reporting part of the conversation because he doesn't remember the rest. Or twisting the truth. For example, caregiver is trying to get DH to do something, such as move his chair. DH doesn't want to do it and says, "You're not the boss of me!" Caregiver jokes him along to accomplish the task and says, "Well, I'm the boss of the whole floor!" I can totally see how such a misunderstanding could happen.
This is dementia.
My mom insisted that her father was upstairs playing the piano like he always did and that his son was there too. Her father had been dead for over 20 years and had never been upstairs playing the piano. His son had been dead since 1944.
Don't take anything your DH says too seriously. Most of it isn't going to be that important anyway. Just go along with it.
Oddly enough, too, mom used to call the Activity director her Big Boss and that she was required to follow her orders at all times! All nonsense conjured up by a broken mind, but still some things have to be checked out for YOUR peace of mind.
When mom got to the point where "her girls were moving her and her furniture to a new hotel every night", that's when I was able to stop fact checking her entirely.
In the meantime, it's a pita to deal with and tends to cause a feeling of uneasiness within US. 🙄