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A person would hate to treat their grown father like a teenager, but this just goes to show that pornography is a bad idea all the way around, no matter what age. I know there is a way to block this kind of stuff thru servers, or filters or something like that. It used to be with 'dial up' you had to go through a server, and then you could choose a specific one that filters that sort of thing. But with DSL and cable, I'm not sure... either way I'd sure check into it. This is making your dad miserable, even though he probably doesn't think so. Unless he's 'loaded $$', no young woman is gonna look twice at an old man, and if she does then you've got a whole other set of problems. :)
To begin with, there is no such thing as safe sex, only "safer." With the advent of Viagra, Cialis, and other performance enhancement drugs men over 50 are "getting busy" more than ever.
Since the only thing you can do is reduce the risk, check out Harm Reduction Tips such as the correct use of male/female condoms, what dental dams are, and potential exposure to equal-opportunity diseases such as HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases/infections. Your local Department of Health should provide you with everything you need, including discrete, easy-to-carry Safer Sex Kits.
If he's preening and primping for a hot date, don't be afraid to ask him if he's carrying protection -- and show it to you. Sometimes the scent of a woman is enough to make a man drop his brain by the roadside, even the most careful ones.
"Sin gorrito no hay amor" (No glove, no love). Safer sex is responsible sex, and no matter the age there's no excuse for not protecting yourself and your partners.
Don't be afraid to talk WITH him about sex. After all, he's still breathing.
Well, if it was my dad, I wouldn't worry too much, I have to assume that, given that he's surfing the web and talking about booty calls, thats he's pretty tight upstairs. I'ts unlikely that he's gonna hook up with young women. Maybe make some condoms "appear" just for Kicks and giggles maybe be a great conversation starter at least!! just a thought,~Nutz
I can't believe your dad at 78 would even ask you where to find women. I think blocking porn sites is a good idea to start with. But now that he's got his mind a working you mind buy condoms hoping he'll bring up the subject again opening the door to talk to him. I had a client at 91 still got a hard on when taking a shower. The first time I realized that was going on kind of shocked me too. If it was my dad, I'd probably have a heart attack. Good Luck!
I agree with Pamela6148 and find absolutely nothing wrong with a parent's reawakened desire to date and engage in sexual intimacy, regardless of the age. If possible, help your father connect directly with people in his community and, if that doesn't facilitate with meeting desireable women, then try on-line dating services. I agree with others who have advised that caution be taken since there are people on-line who are looking to pull off all sorts of scams and will say and do whatever it takes to connect with your father and take advantage of him. However he or you both proceed, I would suggest that you have a frank conversation about sexually-transmitted diseases which are dramatically increasing in the over-60 age groups, including HIV and AIDS. I'm sure you can get some reading material on-line from the National Institute of Health or other source which you can then print out and give to and discuss with your father. Once your father is aware of the new generation of con men and women found via on-line dating sites and the ever-increasing incidents of sexually-transmitted disease in his age group, I think you're ready to get out there and help him find a companion. Let your dad and the woman/women figure out the degree of intimacy in which they wish to engage, be it companionship, "just sex" or any combination thereof, and be there for him as a friend. You don't need to hear the details but being kept in the loop generally is a good idea since you can help him better and quicker if someone is taking advantage of him. Communication is key and, let me add that there is absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about when it comes to desiring sexual intimacy, regardless of the age. Best wishes to you and your father!
Michelle, This sounds like the kind of problem many of us caregivers would like to have ;-)) However, I don't agree with Nutz's statement that it is unlikely he's gonna hook up with young women. The issue here is connecting with young women who would try to hook up with him for purely financial reasons. (In the old days they were called goldbrickers, today they are the new normal) Some of these new normal women have accumulated fortunes by serially marrying older men of means and having them "change their will" to accommodate the new love in their life. A couple of years of the good life and the old man drops dead and then the family finds out that pop's entire estate now belongs to his 20-something spouse. When they attempt to take legal action, they discover that that 20-something gal had the equivalent of a Law degree and an airtight hold on the estate that it would cost the family more in legal fees to overturn the will than it would be worth. So along with the condoms you ought to supply a template for a pre-nuptial agreement that ensures any quid-pro-quo sexual activity does not involve a new beneficiary to the family fortune.
Fist of all, internet porn is NOT cheap. It will cost him big bucks if he's not careful. Second, the reason he's asking about young women is because, who do you think is doing the pornography on the internet? Some old lady? No way. It's giving him unrealistic expectations seeing that stuff. That's why I said it was/will make him miserable in the end. I would refocus his attention to a woman his own age, or close to, and encourage a meaningful relationship. He can still find a frisky woman his age I'm sure. If someone made a law tomorrow that forces all internet porn sites to be free, those sites would disappear in a heartbeat.
I think it's great your dad is able to express himself this way. Just because he's older doesn't mean his desires have turned off. Is he specifically looking to have sex or is he looking for companionship? If he is checking out the web...maybe locate a dating service for older adults. A friend of mine who is recently widowed did that and as a result has met a great man, has become sexually active and is so happy. I really admire you for finding out how to support him and for being open about it. All the best!
Ahhhhh this thread kind of freaked me out and my initial reaction was to ask "where does your dad live"? :)
Sex keeps you young, loose, and did I say young. Whether your dad is watching porn sites, or dilly-dallying around on himself you should consider yourself lucky that he is still frisky. Seventyeight is not that old really and he still has plenty of sex time left.
I agree with whomever said to find an elder matchmaking site and maybe he'll meet someone and they'll engage together. That is if someone near his own age can change his mind about the youngans. Naheaton is right about the Golddiggers cause we don't want him to find a Anna-Nicole then you will have problems.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
To begin with, there is no such thing as safe sex, only "safer." With the advent of Viagra, Cialis, and other performance enhancement drugs men over 50 are "getting busy" more than ever.
Since the only thing you can do is reduce the risk, check out Harm Reduction Tips such as the correct use of male/female condoms, what dental dams are, and potential exposure to equal-opportunity diseases such as HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases/infections. Your local Department of Health should provide you with everything you need, including discrete, easy-to-carry Safer Sex Kits.
If he's preening and primping for a hot date, don't be afraid to ask him if he's carrying protection -- and show it to you. Sometimes the scent of a woman is enough to make a man drop his brain by the roadside, even the most careful ones.
"Sin gorrito no hay amor" (No glove, no love). Safer sex is responsible sex, and no matter the age there's no excuse for not protecting yourself and your partners.
Don't be afraid to talk WITH him about sex. After all, he's still breathing.
-- ED
I have to assume that, given that he's surfing the web and talking about booty calls, thats he's pretty tight upstairs.
I'ts unlikely that he's gonna hook up with young women. Maybe make some condoms "appear" just for Kicks and giggles maybe be a great conversation starter at least!! just a thought,~Nutz
I had a client at 91 still got a hard on when taking a shower. The first time I realized that was going on kind of shocked me too. If it was my dad, I'd probably have a heart attack. Good Luck!
This sounds like the kind of problem many of us caregivers would like to have ;-)) However, I don't agree with Nutz's statement that it is unlikely he's gonna hook up with young women. The issue here is connecting with young women who would try to hook up with him for purely financial reasons. (In the old days they were called goldbrickers, today they are the new normal) Some of these new normal women have accumulated fortunes by serially marrying older men of means and having them "change their will" to accommodate the new love in their life. A couple of years of the good life and the old man drops dead and then the family finds out that pop's entire estate now belongs to his 20-something spouse. When they attempt to take legal action, they discover that that 20-something gal had the equivalent of a Law degree and an airtight hold on the estate that it would cost the family more in legal fees to overturn the will than it would be worth. So along with the condoms you ought to supply a template for a pre-nuptial agreement that ensures any quid-pro-quo sexual activity does not involve a new beneficiary to the family fortune.
Sex keeps you young, loose, and did I say young. Whether your dad is watching porn sites, or dilly-dallying around on himself you should consider yourself lucky that he is still frisky. Seventyeight is not that old really and he still has plenty of sex time left.
I agree with whomever said to find an elder matchmaking site and maybe he'll meet someone and they'll engage together. That is if someone near his own age can change his mind about the youngans. Naheaton is right about the Golddiggers cause we don't want him to find a Anna-Nicole then you will have problems.
But I tip my hat off to the Ol' G' Playa.
I hope you don't get offended.
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