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Who are you caring for?
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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Depends on what it is! My mom thought her grandchildren were hiding under the table and that the cat kept climbing on the furniture. Her grandchildren are grown and she doesn't have pets. When I corrected her to start with, she became agitated so I just "made" the kids get out from under the table and opened the back door to let the "cats" out. We determined it was her medication (that she had been on for YEARS) and once we took her off of it, she became "normal" again (man I hate the word normal!).
If you're sure it's dementia, I would pick and choose depending on her progression. In the beginning, there are things that my cousin would recall. Other things she would not, so I had to be careful not to go along with something and it be the one thing she did recall the next day.
For example, I would not promise to take her to the grocery store the next day just because she wanted me to, because in the early stages, she might recall that the next day and say that I promised to take her and I didn't want her to feel I was lying to her. I would explain that we would go later, but no definite time.
Eventually, she progressed to have no memory of anything more than a few minutes ago, so it's not an issue now. She's in Memory Care, but I go along with just about anything she says, since she won't recall and there is no harm in it.
I just try to make her happy in the moment. And if she thinks her doctor sleeps on a couch in her lobby, then I smile and say that's nice. If she says her deceased father gave her a wheelchair, I say that's nice. I go along with anything really, because she can't accept anything different. There is no point to it.
As your mom progresses, you'll see how some things are futile and trying to correct someone with dementia isn't productive.
Not sure if your situation is similar to mine, but my mother who has dementia "remembers" a whole lot of stuff that never happened. Once she gets a notion into her head, it is virtually impossible to get it out. For most things I just kind of go "um hmm," and ignore it, but at times it's things she SWEARS I did, or that were done TO me. These "memories" are absolute FICTION and it drives me NUTS that she keeps telling these lies over and over and over again. The best I can do these days is just to say, "Mom, that never happened and you know it." over and over and over. I try to be calm when I say it. I remember the first few times she told these stories I would argue with her, but that just made her dig in her heels and become more determined that these things DID happen and she ISN'T wrong and she ISN'T CRAZY!!!!! Her biggest fear is that we will have her locked up because she is crazy. We've even explained that she isn't crazy, she just has a tendency to remember stuff that never happened.
My Mother who is in a nursing home believes she lives above a mall and when I tell her she is in a nursing home she insists it isn't true. I used to correct her about things like that but as long as her beliefs are not putting her or anyone else in any kind of danger I guess its okay to let her keep on thinking them.
Chris3265, is there any harm to anyone as the result of what Mom "remembers"? Sometimes a false memory can cause a lot of heartache, and if there is danger of that it would not be good to simply go along with it. But most of the time an invented memory or a delusion doesn't really matter in the scheme of things, and then it is easiest to just go along with it.
I agree with others it is on a case by case basis. In general, the easiest thing is to go along if minimizes anxiety and confusion.. One day my mother was sitting in her chair in the living room, but thought she was in the middle of a lake and got panicked. I had to to calm her and show her she was really in her chair. That's an extreme example, but really it is situational. We family caregivers get overwhelmed by this extreme disease and are looking for answers on strategies, but too much of it is try to calm, safe, clean, routine, but then unfortunately play it by ear after that.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
For example, I would not promise to take her to the grocery store the next day just because she wanted me to, because in the early stages, she might recall that the next day and say that I promised to take her and I didn't want her to feel I was lying to her. I would explain that we would go later, but no definite time.
Eventually, she progressed to have no memory of anything more than a few minutes ago, so it's not an issue now. She's in Memory Care, but I go along with just about anything she says, since she won't recall and there is no harm in it.
I just try to make her happy in the moment. And if she thinks her doctor sleeps on a couch in her lobby, then I smile and say that's nice. If she says her deceased father gave her a wheelchair, I say that's nice. I go along with anything really, because she can't accept anything different. There is no point to it.
As your mom progresses, you'll see how some things are futile and trying to correct someone with dementia isn't productive.
Me: Who do you think is bringing your newspaper to the front door?
Dad: It's the fellow who walked 3 small dogs. Yesterday he only had 2 dogs so he must have given one away.
Me: Why would he give away one of his dogs? [I knew who Dad was talking about, the fellow has 3 tiny Chihuahuas].
Dad: Someone probably wanted the dog.
Me: Dad, maybe that dog is older and unable to go out in such cold weather.
The conversation went on and on. I should have let it go :P