His sons and daughter in laws are into to drugs and keep threatening to sue us , sue the survivor etc. They have a had lawsuits going all their lives instead of working. We have tried to protect ourselves. I had nothing to do with their Mom and Dad divorcing. I own a nice piece of property that was mine before our marriage of 35 yrs. They call and say they are going to sue my children for it.
We have tried to protect ourselves from them and their wives. My husband became ill after falling on a city sidewalk with heaved bricks and hit his head.
It sounds like you have taken steps to protect yourselves. In the POA document, is an alternate named? So that if you were incapacitated or predecease him one of his sons can't step in and take over? Is your husband still competent to change the POA to add an alternate if one is not named? Would one of your children be a good choice?
Do you each have advance healthcare directives? Does his name you as his healthcare proxy, with an alternate other than his sons?
Have you discussed the situation with an attorney?
The sons call and say they are going to sue your children for property you owned before you married their dad, 35 years ago? It would be interesting to hear what grounds they think they would use. Do they ever call and have good, pleasant conversations with their father? Would it be possible to always let their calls go to voicemail?
Unless you have great wealth, it will be lucky if you can get through the dementia journey with a reasonable amount for you to live on. It would be unusual to have enough leftover to be worth suing over. You are right to be protecting as much income/assets as you can for your own needs.
Although I know you can't help worrying about it, the way to TRY to put it out of your mind is to dot all your i's and cross all your t's. Talking to an attorney and leveling with that attorney about your hubby's litigious family is a good way to get peace of mind.