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Mom keeps putting things in the toilet that don't belong there and overflowing the toilet. Does anyone know of a solution to this other than having someone in there with her at all times? She will not allow that I'm certain. I am hoping someone had a fix for this issue. We are keeping our plumber living the high life lately!

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How about a child protection devise. You will need to be there to unlock it.

https://www.walmart.com/ip/1Pcs-Baby-Safety-Lock-Baby-Toddler-Kids-Toilet-Seat-Lid-Lock-Home-Protection-Safety-Tools-Bathroom-Accessories-Toilet-Lock/377798892?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=101002936&adid=22222222227282736010&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=t&wl3=341985605016&wl4=aud-834279575926:pla-676155232544&wl5=9003829&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=130249680&wl11=online&wl12=377798892&veh=sem&gclid=Cj0KCQiA9orxBRD0ARIsAK9JDxRE0-oM7hafMQnb19CfcclqTOI5WebZmCz_VF5drdojgF702PT3bDQaAga6EALw_wcB


Does Mom share a bathroom with you? I would take everything out that she doesn't need. Just leaving the toilet paper. With a Dementia, you have to be proactive.
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Perhaps a motion detector at the entrance to the bathroom/ toilet to alert someone that she’s going in; remove any items from her person and pockets that she could flush. Only leave a small amount of toilet paper inside the bathroom. Kid proof or lock all the bathroom cabinets so she doesn’t have access to anything inside the bathroom that could be flushed. Also make sure the shower/ tub area doesn’t have any loose items ( ripe for flushing). All those items could be placed into a shower caddie ( locked up ) for use when needed.
This is a major problem for Memory Care facilities; I once spoke about this issue with the owner of my Mom’s memory care facility. Interestingly, he told me that it’s usually the male residents who pull this costly and disruptive trick.
I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this issue, but please know that you’re not alone and this is unfortunately very common with Alzheimer’s and memory- impaired people. You might call a few memory care facilities in your area and ask to speak with management about what additional measures they take for this issue.
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How about putting one of those plastic urine measuring inserts in the toilet. She can load that up but when she flushes nothing in actually in the toilet bowl to flush. Good luck.
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EllenSW Jan 2020
Thats a great idea! maybe she wont figue out how to remove it!
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It's a bit of a p.i.t.a but disconnecting the chain in the toilet tank would make it unflushable, therefore stopping costly clogs and backups.
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gdaughter Jan 2020
You know...along those lines...wondering if a new tank with a new type of handle would work...i.e. instead of the lever we push down, a push button...or one where the mechanism is on the opposite side? Sort of an expensive thing to try for a fix...but not any more than multiple plumber calls...
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What sorts of things are available for her to put in the toilet? Remove access to those things.

At some point a dementia patient needs 24/7 supervision. Not possible without several shofts.
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Remove the toilet paper tube so when the t.p. is gone, that is not discarded also.
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disgustedtoo Feb 2020
They do sell TP now that is "tubeless". I bought a large package of these in error (didn't even know there was such a thing!) - sounds like a great idea, no tube to recycle/throw away. These were not for my mother, just me. I would NOT buy them again - they don't roll well on the dispenser (very difficult on a regular dispenser, would NOT roll at all on a stand-alone holder.)

I found them very frustrating, however maybe this would be a good thing for others who have a TP monster... I suspect TP isn't really the issue, although wadding it up and using too much can gum up the works (apparently dad was doing this to mom.) It sounds like maybe other not-for-toilet items might be getting flushed! Not only bad for toilet & floor, but the plumbing beyond the toilet! Then it gets expensive!
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My mother has been putting her depends in the toilet, causing plumbing issues much to the chagrin of her caretaker. A sign has been placed on wall next to toilet saying “Please do not flush depends” but mom still not complying and denies putting items in toilet. Looking forward to hearing suggestions.
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gdaughter Jan 2020
OMG. How do we all cope with this stuff? I'm WAY beyond being polite! It's just another word their brain has to process. I'd be down to NO FLUSHING! However my situation involves using a veggie bin for assorted food products in the fridge we share. All notes are ripped off like she KNOWS what she is doing. I hate to lock the fridge and keep her from nibbling and wrecking the finish to attach something to it. I'm so sorry for what you're going through and will remain grateful that my mother is thus far continent...
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If your mother is putting things into the toilet and causing horrible problems as a result, she obviously is mentally incompetent. Short of keeping her locked up with a pail in a room or attaching her to you with a rope or chain, you can't stop her. You could put a lock on the bathroom door but i assure you she will find something else to destroy. This cannot be permitted no matter what but YOU have to realize without any doubts she cannot stay in your home. It is time that you put her somewhere where the facility can monitor her. I would really explode if someone did this in my home, no matter who they are or why they are doing it. I would stop it at once. This is unacceptable and you won't be able to stop her..
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lealonnie1 Jan 2020
The admins really need to offer a THUMBS DOWN button for comments like this. Placing a loved one in a Memory Care environment is not a 'punishment' but a act of love by family members who wish to keep their mother's safe & cared for.
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1.Check her BEFORE she enters the bathroom for 'flushable' items.
2. Remove EVERYTHING from the bathroom she uses leaving only toilet paper that has no cardboard roll (you can buy it that way these days). Remove towels, packages of wipes, lotions, potions, medicine, everything in other words. So the only thing she can do in the bathroom is use the toilet. And the only thing she can flush down the toilet is her waste, the allotted toilet paper or the clothing she's wearing.
3.If she has to take a bowel movement, you'll have to accompany her into the bathroom with moistened wipes that you will figure out how to dispose of.
4. If she refuses to be accompanied into the bathroom, look into Memory Care Assisted Living for her right away. In most cases, Alzheimer's/Dementia reaches a point where the person can no longer be cared for in the home and needs a team of care givers around the clock, 24/7. Safety issues tend to also crop up, wandering at night, trying to cook in the kitchen, etc, that make the entire situation unmanageable.

I work in a Memory Care home & this morning I came in to find a very large pile of feces on the carpet in the resident hallway. Left there by a gentleman who often forgets where his toilet is and thinks it's perfectly fine to take a BM right there on the floor. Or on the upholstered chair in the living area. Again, dementia & ALzheimer's often reaches a point where in-home care is no longer feasible.

Best of luck!
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gdaughter Jan 2020
Hope that upholstered chair is covered in Crypton fabric:-)
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Great suggestions from others about clearing out the bathroom of anything that could become a sewer clog. Additionally, I would suggest small packets of kleenex instead of rolls of toilet paper that could end up in the toilet.
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It's pricey but this is how hospitals deal with it. This device latches on to non flushables to keep them from clogging up a toilet.

https://www.drain-net.com/shop-by-product/toilet-drain-clogs/traptex/product/traptex-prevent-toilet-clogs

You can DIY something. Get a specimen collection pan for the toilet. Drill holes in it so that fluid can pass but nothing else. You'll have to clean it out whenever there's a poop or other non flushable but that should be be preferable to a clogged toilet and an overflow.

This is one of those times that I wonder why US bathrooms don't have a drain on the floor. It's common in the rest of the world. It's a great idea. It keeps a overflowing toilet, sink or tub from flooding the house. It also makes cleaning super easy. Just grab the shower head and hose the bathroom off.
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gdaughter Jan 2020
Gosh I hope I remember this if I need to know it!
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My mom needed her #2's monitored for a bit, and that was just about the worst thing ever for her! Me helping her with a shower was uncomfortable, but o.k. Me looking at her poop was unthinkable.

We put a signs up: "Doctor says do not flush your poop." That didn't work. We taped the toilet handle. That didn't work. I turned off the water below the toilet so the toilet wouldn't flush. That worked for a while, but dang if mom didn't figure out how to turn the water back on. She couldn't tie a shoelace anymore but was more than able to figure out the plumbing issue.

We kept with it, though, and eventually my mom got tired of, bored with, and/or disinterested in thwarting our efforts to monitor her BMs. The combination of signs and shutting off the water is what eventually worked.

Not exactly what you asked, but I guess what I'm saying is that just when you think you've found a solution, your mom may surprise you with a workaround. All you can do is laugh and try again. ;-)
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Ellen, what type of things is she putting in there? Depends? Clothing? Things she finds in the bathroom? Things she brings in with her? I'm rooting for the forum to come up with a do-able solution for you!
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bluefinspirit Jan 2020
Yes. Go team! :-)
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What is she putting in the toilet?
Actually it does not matter...if she is at this point she needs supervision while she is in the bathroom.
Remove all "extra" items that she could possibly flush. This includes wipes even the "flush-able" ones can clog a toilet. Only the person supervising her should have access to wipes and even extra toilet paper.

You also might want to think about replacing the toilet. If it is not a higher ADA toilet with an elongated bowl it would be worth replacing it and get one of the "newer" ones that will flush just about anything. Not for the fact that things might get accidentally flushed but for the bouts of constipation that are just not flush-able right away. (Flushing is just the first stage even though something can be flushed the pipes are only so large and a clog further down a pipe is more expensive to unclog than a clog in the toilet.)
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gdaughter Jan 2020
toilet shopping is an adventure unto itself. Lots to know. Check out Consumer Reports. I LOVE my Toto (basic model) that replaced a 50+ year old one...when the last toilet in the house was replaced Dad (age 102) spoke with the plumber and got a ADA "comfort height" one. Just to warn people, not EVERYone loves those. He's a short guy, the powder room it is in is VERY condensed, and in the end we should have stuck with the rounded bowl shape it had (those are getting rare), and he would have preferred the low height...in fact we were looking into replacing the bowl part, but he "adjusted". It's pretty wild to adjust to comfort height and then go to a low one...
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Reminds me of when my mom was living alone 400 miles away from me, the only child. Neighbor was paid to keep an eye on her and this was pre-diagnosis.

Her half bath toilet near the kitchen had an event resulting in a burst pipe and flooding downstairs in the finished basement. Turns out she kept believing she was out of toilet paper and used paper towels. She had plenty of toilet paper stockpiled in the upstairs bedroom.

I got there to witness the repair arranged by the neighbor. It required external repair under the concrete front door doorstep. The repair cost thousands.

Mom acted mildly concerned as if, "Really??? That happened because of me?"

Yep, that started the ball rolling to get the diagnosis and move her to assisted living memory care near me.
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gdaughter Jan 2020
OMG. Papertowels...ohhhhhhh.
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Child proof toilet lock for the lid. Hassle for you to come open it each time but ensures she won’t be unattended and flushing what she shouldn’t
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Place a large bin for depends and always use a hat (like to measure urine).

There came a point with MIL the bathroom in her room had to be disabled and she always required assistance.
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I've discovered that when something happens...it's usually not the first time it has happened on the planet. I'd ask your plumber or even the manufacturer of the particular toilet if they have any ideas...or another plumber...but of course you don't want to block it so that when it is being used appropriately what needs to go in does go down the drain.
I just picked up something last night from the Safety1st company called an "Outsmart Multi-Use Lock" which got some decent reviews. It adheres with adhesive patches and the button on top is a decoy...they suggest no one seeing how it really works which is squeezing the sides to release it. Looks like a little strap. Haven't used it yet. I'm using it on the mail chute opening with a little door inside the house, and if luck is with me on a bin in the fridge.
Yours is another story which makes me realize how bad things could be....
My only other thoughts are a total lock out from the bathroom which I would be concerned about for other reasons, and a commode chair, which would also be such a drag. And if she's able to use the toilet appropriately, I can only imagine the mess if you laid a piece of thin plastic across the top beneath the seat. Oh the challenges they give us....
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An inexpensive fix*might* be a urinal screen. At Amazon, check out Hospeco 01901 Health Gards Urinal Screen. The listing is for a pack of 12, so they cost $1.40 each.
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needtowashhair Jan 2020
I don't that will do the job. Those are meant to be placed in urinals. In some super flushing toilets, they could get sucked in and clog the toilet.
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Could you put a child lock on the seat? I assume she does not live alone
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She needs to be supervised when she is in the bathroom.

No fun to be the one that has to make this the new normal, but a whole lot safer than the house being destroyed by an over flowing toilet.

You can also ask the plumber to quote remodeling the bathroom into a wet room. That makes clean up easier and stops water from infiltrating the structure.
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A sensing device put in the toilet lid and toilet so when the seat is raised it will alert on your phone and you can get in place outside the door to be of assistance. I used one on a lidded waste waste can that my mother consistently used to discard soiled vinyl gloves she used while cleaning her bottom after a BM.
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Have your handyman fit a large holed screen with loop handles in the toilet to allow urine through. You will need run water over the poop to get it down. Hopefully a bucket of water will do. With gloves you will be able to pick out the things that cannot go down. Or there are mats the ring like a doorbell you can put at the bathroom floor to go running each time she enters the bathroom. Good luck! These are quick but maybe not long term solutions but hopefully will save plumber visits!
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I would get so mad at my mom because she would put all sorts of things in the toilet. She was so confused. It was not her fault. She has been gone for over a year now. Wish I had been more patient and understanding.

Taking care of a parent with memory loss is difficult.
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Just a note to say - some dementia patients can no longer read. It depends on the patient and the stage of dementia. I was shocked when it happened to my adopted mother. The nursing home said it happens more often than people realize. So signs make not work for some.
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Someone mentioned turning the water off, but the parent figured out how to turn it on again! This is worth a try and probably the easiest solution, so long as mom can't figure it out.

Signs likely won't work well, if at all. Putting a screen or some other barrier under the seat could probably be easily removed or tampered with. If you shut the water off, be sure to flush ONCE after EACH time you shut it off - generally you get one flush (found this out when we had power outages and well water - ONE flush/toilet was it until the power resumed!) If you don't do this flush after shutting the water off, she will be able to gum up the works!

Fishing inappropriate things out before flushing will be nasty, but better than having to pay someone to undo the damage done and/or cleaning up the mess that will happen if it overflows!
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Remember that if you are turning off the water the tank still holds enough for one more flush unless you empty it too.
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Dealing with bathroom issues is very difficult. Since you need to be there 24/7 to monitor what is going on, clean up and prevent disasters. My brother, the saint, dealt with dad's incontinence for several months at home. Brother lived in a trailer on their property, with a camera and notifications that there was activity in the house. He then took off like a lightening bolt to help out. That made for poor sleep, since he was always "on call." And his wife was living at home without him for months.

During that time, a "commode" was used. It was a "comfort height" since dad was taller. Dad could not make it to the toilet since he was exhausted from congestive heart failure and there were steps to negotiate to the toilet. Brother emptied the commode into the regular toilet when it was used and rinsed/sanitized the commode bucket out in the laundry tub. Dad also wore disposable diaper.

Your mom should be in AL, but if she has bathroom issues, may need more intensive care of a nursing home.
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Is there a caretaker 24/7? Can bathroom trips be monitored or supervised?
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how I resolved that problem was I put a garbage plastic bag around the toliet inside. use the one that you can tighten with the strings. hang it over the outside all the way around. now the bag will be above the water and tight enough not to fall into the toilet . this way any items she put into it will not go down. it took me a few times till I got it just right. it works.
you could also tell her that the toilet is broken and she has to use the porta potty. tell her that it would be easier for her as she doesn't have to walk far . she could keep it in whatever room she is in. again put a plastic bag in it to catch anything she does. if she agrees just put a hook and eye way up on the bathroom door so she cant reach it to get it open.
good luck
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