My stepfather passed away 3 years ago and left some money for my mother's care, but not much. She has late stages of Alzheimers and has to be in a facility. I work as well. She wanders all hours of the night and no longer can use a bathroom. I have 3 siblings who are unwilling to help in any way although they are all financially set. Any suggestions?
She is in a facility where staff is paid to care for her.
Are you actually thinking that you would bring her home if you would get paid?
If you are keep in mind that in a facility there is 'round the clock staff. And more than 1 staff person. No 1 person can care for someone 24/7/365. And if you observe a 12 hour span could you actually do all that needs to be done for your mom SAFELY in your home? (not even going to get into the cognitive decline she would probably have from being moved)
Begin the process of getting mom on Medicaid if that is what you have to do to ensure that she can remain where she is. Talk to the facility Social Worker if you need help with the process. (I hope this facility where she is does accept Medicaid)
Since your Mom needs help with the cost of her care, her only step is to apply for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare]. Once she is approved, then she can live in a nursing home and Medicaid will pay for her room/board/care. Your Mom will be well cared for, and no more worries about her wandering off at all hours of the night.
Grown children should not be funding a parent's senior housing. Otherwise it becomes a never ending circle where the grown children's own children find themselves doing the same, etc.
If your mother needs placement, then her Social Security will go for her care. She will spend down what few assets she has now, and then the facility itself, or a social worker can assist you with applying for medicaid for your mom. Meanwhile research on the medicare website all you can about medicaid. Or on your own State's websites. Medicaid is a joint state/federal program for those requiring care. Funds are paid directly to the facility. It is often more difficult to find facilities that accept medicaid that those with self-pay clients, but it can be done and you can call around, take tours, speak to administration about how to go about getting this help.
Sure wish you the best.