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I'm at the point of 'purging' friends. I have one friend in particular, who used to be a caregiver for her mom, who never emails, calls or gets together unless I push the issue. She even said she only wanted to get together after I'm done caregiving. I have such little free time, being a 24/7 caregiver, I want to start only spending time with people who are more uplifting. Is anyone else experiencing this? Sometimes I think I'm just being oversensitive because of the stress of caregiving for my mom.

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I am 69. I had a group of friends I grew up with. As the years go by, they have dropped off one by one. I would keep in touch but I feel it was one sided so I stopped trying. Lately I feel I am losing a friend of 64 yrs. I was sitting here thinking about it and I realized, my life doesn't parallel hers or the other friends. When we were young, I was the one married last. I had my first child five years after their first. A divorce made a difference. Thought when I remarried I would be brought back into the fold. Didn't happen and they all knew my husband. When I was raising my youngest, their children were graduating HiSchool. Then my 15 yr old got pregnant. Now I have a grandchild they don't have. I watched him for 3 yrs while his Mom finished school. The last five years I was watching my second grandchild, went right into caring for Mom. My friend has never had to take care of a parent or grandchild. Her grandchildren are grown, I am starting over again. Yes, it upsets me but I think I have excepted it. I also have put the ball in her court. Her husband has a weird schedule so its easier for them to tell me when they have time then me bug them. I have been going to breakfast with a friend I worked with. She is an up person. Same with a couple of sisters I went to school with, lunch next week. Then I have my hubby. He is my best friend. We do a lot together. I do have an old friend I enjoy being with. Right now she is caring for a husband and is a go go person. Involved in everything. But when we get together we have so much fun.
Yes, find people who love being with you and go out of their way for you.
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im the kind of person that would be happy getting a couple text message - once or twice a week. just hearing from someone with a quick hello and how are you. I care.
I am not a full time care giver tho. my moms in AL.

I do have a friend and she will do that. we don't text on and on...but just to say HEY im thinking of you. and that helps so much.
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Yes it can and does happen. The real test of friendship and even family is after the person passes.
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Aww, thank you! I have looked into caregiver support groups, but the only ones in my area are specifically for caregivers of Alzheimer's patients. My mom, who I care for, has Parkinson's and not much dementia yet. I do get a lot of comfort from all of you on this forum :-)
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CG for my mother was one thing--just PT, really and not in my home. DH's many, many heath issues has caused all but one or two of my "true" friends to head for the hills. I simply am too wrapped up in his care to have time to work on maintaining friendships.

He has not said, once, in 12 years that he feels "fine" If I ask, then it's ALWAYS "I'm so very sick" I'm so very tired" I'm so worn out"..to others he'll put on a "face" but we don't go out or socialize with anyone but our own kids.

Married couples are uncomfortable going out with (essentially) single women. Single women don't want a married woman hanging around them. It's kind of a lose-lose situation.
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Lots, when Trump took over.
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Thank you all for such helpful responses! I am going to take a break from this friend. I will try Meet up, they do have a good selection of choices in my area. A knitting group for winter and hiking group for summer. Love everyone on this forum, you have been such a support and encouragement!
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You might try Visiting Angels. I used them for a while once or twice a week for a couple of hours. They will play a game with her, have lunch and even help clean. If you or your mother don’t think it’s a good match, they want to know and will send someone else for the next visit. Then so to a movie or lunch with a friend and try not to talk about you mom. You need a nice break mentally and physically. Pray for God’s guidance, strength and comfort.
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I've lived in three states in the past few years and in each met some very nice people at knitting and hiking groups. I can be feeling like a freak over my "problems" and go to a knitting group or hike, only to find that every one of the people there is struggling with something.

I also read somewhere to go to events and not say a a word about your problems so that no one knows to ask you about them later when you don't feel like talking about them or the problem has passed. I tend to brood, fester and wear my problems on my sleeve so I tried this and found that it gives me a mental break and people seem to like me better than when I b*tch too much!
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