My 92 yr old father has always been profoundly verbally abusive to family members.Now he is in assisted living and doing this to staff. Assisted living facility is considering eviction. We want to get father psychiatric eval but he refuses. HOW DO WE GET HIM THERE, SHORT OF PHYSICAL FORCE?
In his case, old nasty habits like making everyone else feel like garbage won't go away that easily. Particularly if he derived some sick pleasure from it. Apparently no one had the courage to stand up to him, so there was no incentive for him to change.
Make him an offer he won't refuse: clean up his act and keep a roof over his head or a park bench complete with shopping cart. If he starts with some violin story like "I'm a sick, old man" that's just a built in excuse designed to flip the script on everyone and keep doing what he's doing. Behaviors like his will repeat themselves unless there are real consequences that he can feel. And the time will come when he won't be accepted at ANY nursing home or assisted living facility; let alone the homes of family members.
Once you've firmly explained to him the few options at his disposal (e.g., a park bench instead of an apartment on Park Avenue), a psychiatric evaluation shouldn't be a problem. It takes a lot of energy and mental sharpness to constantly manipulate and make everyone's job -- and life -- miserable.
Barring a serious mental illness, he's aware of the potential consequences of his abusive behaviors. And he'll continue to violate rules and norms unless others enforce them ... consistently.
As for him being kicked out of the ALF, I've been through that too. They absolutely must help you place him. If you refuse to pick him up, they have to find another facility for him.
I know this is tough, I'm still living it. My advice may not be "proper", but when you are dealing with the system, it seems to be the only way.