My mother, who has been diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment, is getting me up 2-3 times at night with moaning, groaning, and someitmes shouting...she is not aware of doing this while it is happening...sometimes, it is a bad dream...usually not...when I ask why she is shouting, she can only say "I don't know..." Has anyone else experienced this? It is becoming very difficult to bear.
Perhaps some soft music, or soothing sounds (ocean...rain...) would help your mom calm herself and go back to sleep? This sounds terrible for you. Do you think you need to "stand guard" all night? Does you mother try to get out of bed and is therefore in danger of falling? Can you drown out her yelling somehow and sleep through it, or do you need to always go in and check on her? This reminds me of when my children were little...that it was better to ride out the crying for awhile so they could learn to go back to sleep. Has your mother gotten used to your attention during the wee hours and that it's now a habit? Just brainstorming here. I would ask the doc if there's something else she could take for sleep. I used to keep a baby monitor next to me at night so I could hear my mother. After a couple of months, I turned it off...it drove me crazy to hear every little noise.
yes dad likes to hear his old time music , i put his favorite pasty cline disk in and play it till he falls sleep . bless pasty clines heart she always puts him to sleep . but he wakes up after 2 hrs finding himself all wet . clean him up and play that good ole pasty cline again . :-) he is 86 yrs old , diabete , heart pblms , dementia otherthan that he is a sweet old man .
always very polite , says thank you everytime i help him . bless his heart ...
Mom says she's "sick of going to all these doctors," but goes very often, in spite of her claims otherwise. I think she's "drug seeking," and hope they understand that, too. So far, they have weaned her off, and resisted her demands for the narcotics she took for years. She used to use those with alcohol, as well, lying about her intake. She told her Physician today that she "didn't sleep at all for the past two days." She told me recently, "I realized at midnight that I had to make dessert for a morning coffee hour, and stayed up all night to make it, only getting 1 hour of sleep." Who in their 'right mind' would do that??? I hope her PCP and her Sleep Study Physician can help her. This behavior is affecting my family's quality of life, as well. We are desperate for help! So far, it's just been running from doctor to doctor...and it's making us all exhausted.
I do like your idea of intervention. I think that was what the Geriatric Assessment Clinic was all about. We met with a Physician, Social Worker, Pharmacist and Nurse. They diagnosed her as having a Severe Personality Disorder, and said she definitely needs a Guardian. That's me. She's been an addict all my life, (her entire adult life) and my job is to see she never again receives the drugs she seeks, unless a Physician thinks they are essential to her treatment. That day may come somewhere down the road.
The hoops I've jumped through have helped me to understand the extent of her mental illness, how it's affected me over the years, and her current level of need. I feel empathy and compassion for her I wouldn't otherwise. She's just so compelled to do what she does, say what she says, and act as she does. How sad, and how difficult, at times. I can't change that.
So far, Mom can remain fairly independent, with someone overseeing her finances and checking in with her from time to time. I provide her groceries, spending money, and transportation (since she lost her license), and I sold her car. I pay her bills, and make sure her needs, and some wants are met. I resist her demands that I perform instantaneously, unless she has a medical or physical need. Thank God for my patient, and wonderfully supportive husband, who is right beside me every step of the way.
Any other type of intervention? Too late for a dry out clinic. She's not on any harmful medications. And she's no longer drinking alcohol, to my knowledge. So what else should we do?
Her Court-appointed attorney contacted me today, asking me about her. He used the word, "hypochondriac," too. (I'm not offended by the truth.) Oh well. He asked my synapsis. I told him, "She's needy, dependent, and not trustworthy. She is difficult to deal with, but she's my Mom. I have no plans of abandoning her, punishing her, and no longer have a illusions of trying to change her." Whims? I deny plenty. It makes her angry, but I need to set limits and boundaries, as she has no idea of the rights or needs of others. A very wise Social Worker told me to set the boundaries she cannot. Not fun, but necessary.
Somehow, this got far off subject, but I wanted to answer dear Tusconlady's response and suggestions. (Thank you, by the way.) Concerning her "Nighttime problem," I only wish there were a way to help mom with hers. Too bad I desire it more and she does. Don't think that will help either of us... but I'm still open to suggestions. A miracle, perhaps?
I so admire those of you who are in the trenches, as well. What a challenge to care for our loved ones! Bless you, dear ones. Take care!
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