When I feed my grandma grease and sugar she licks her plate. I do not typically do this Bc of her morbid obesity, diabetes and multiple strokes. When I feed her the home cooked food I serve my spouse and children, she throws her plate in the floor and yells, "girl do your job and clean up this mess." This is the way she has always been and I am at the end of my rope. She is currently on a waiting list to go back into a nursing home. I am doing this because she verbally abuses my daughter, I can take it but she should not have to. Any advice for now, I place towels around my wheelchair. She laughs at me when I am on my knees cleaning my hardwood floor.
My mother has a terrible time with healthy food. She only wants fried chicken, fried pork chops, fried salmon patties,... She grew up in an old-fashioned country home where fried chicken was considered a feast. She eats more healthy food that I put on her plate, but she never fails to tell me what she would rather have.
My mother grew very obese when she was younger and also became diabetic. Diabetes sure complicates caregiving! I hope that waiting list grows short so you can move your grandmother. She was talking to you like you were a lowly slave girl. No one should have to tolerate that from their grandmother.