Ok so I hired a caregiver while back had her for a year lately I didn’t know until recently I discovered she been changing her moods lately she has been verbal and been emotional abusing me lately yelling at me screaming at me is anything of that abuse? I know cursing at me is verbal abuse but and it has distracted her for caring for my needs at times I do suffer from anxiety at times I have also autism to because she has done this to me it’s been so hard dealing with her should I report her to the agency what she has done to me? Because I know In the past she has done good work for me but lately she getting real bad and not just abusing but engaging and gossiping lately as well so please help me best of your advice anything will be helpful thank you.
I agree. Or it is a person with "special needs" who isn't getting enough attention from whoever is responsible for them. We've got more than a few of them around here. When made the same point yesterday that you're making I got backlash for it.
I was a caregiver for a long time and made lifelong friends with some of my clients and their family members.
I met my second husband when I was a caregiver to his grandfather. Relationships can form.
This forum is supposed to be a support group for people who are caregivers. The people here give practical advice and encouragement. It's also supposed to be a safe space for caregivers to express their frustration and feelings. Or at least this is what it was when I joined and was happy I did because this group has helped me out many times.
Yes, you are correct. I am asking the same questions I'd ask if any clients of mine had complaints about their caregiver.
I was a caregiver for 25 years. I was also an aide supervisor at an AL. I am currently the head of a homecare business. I have dealt with every kind of client and caregiver. When I see a post like this, or get a call similar to this, I can pretty much gauge what's going on. I've never been wrong yet about the personality type it's coming from and that's saying something because I've been in service for a long time.
Everyone who has homecare deserves quality service. They have a right to expect professionalism and respect from the caregiver for both themselves and their homes regardless of whether they are paying for the service or if like in this case, the state is.
The caregiver also has a right to expect a safe environment to provide care in and to be treated with respect by the client and their families or legal representatives.
It is abundantly clear to me that the OP has no respect for caregivers.
She has a choice. Call the agency her caregiver works for and ask for someone else.
The agency has a choice too. They can do their job and investigate the caregiver by talking to other clients she works for. Then they can act accordingly.
I would most definitely pull the caregiver off of this assignment. I would also very likely drop a troublesome client like the OP from my service.
I'm in the business of providing quality service and making money. Not being a referee in games between the client and their caregiver.
But, what I did take into consideration was that the OP said he/she is autistic and also suffers at times from anxiety (autistic adults suffer with difficulties w/high-level language skills, such as verbal reasoning, problem solving, making inferences, problems with understanding another person's point of view, anxiety, etc). And, he/she stated that the state pays their caregiver, which supports their having a disability. So, by not ever having met this OP in person to fully understand, I listened to their words and I sensed someone who genuinely just wanted a little advice. I really didn't see their actions or intentions in trying to "agitate or instigate anyone - or have a laugh?" For me, I just didn't see it.
You DESERVE to have a caregiver who makes you feel comfortable and is an appropriate support to you. I think you should reach out to the agency and explain that this is not a good match for you anymore and request someone else. You are worth it - and I think you'll be happier in the long run.
Wishing you all the very best for continued strength and peace ~
ps - I have seen those on this site who are caregivers as well as those who are receiving care, so you are in the right place!
If you don't get along with your caregiver, call the agency she works for and get a different one.
I was an in-home caregiver for 25 years. I now work LONG hours in the office of my own homecare business.
The first question I'd ask a client like you is in what way did the caregiver verbally abuse you?
I would want to know word for word what she said. Then I'd talk to the other clients she takes care of. If you are the only client who has a problem with her most likely you are the problem.
I also saw your comment here to, JoAnn. I would bet that you're instigating with your caregiver. I've had clients like you. My bosses always talked to my other clients.
If you're the only client of her's with a problem....Chances are it's you.
A state-paid caregiver does not make good money. I am an experienced caregiver.
How are you disabled is I may ask? Why do you need a caregiver? What are your expectations from a caregiver?
In your first post you said u were asking for a friend.
If this is an angency Aide then report her. Maybe she did not like that she wanted to be friends and you want to keep it professional. If this is about the time the abuse started to happen, I would make sure to mention it. Tell the agency you want another Aide. This one seems burnt out.