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My grandmother has not eaten, had a full glass of water or meds for 7 days now. She is also insulin dependent and has not had any. The CNA discussed that she was "Actively dying", every other day she has been having symptoms and we are in limbo with the waiting game of "The Big One." Does anyone have any advice or have been through it? We have been holding vigil at the nursing home because we want to be there for her, but it is getting the best of us.

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Thank you... We have done all of that. We are having the priest go in there today, thinking that would help to comfort her. She just keeps sleeping. She tells us she sees her mom and she wants to be with her. We told her it was okay to go, that we are going to take care of each other.
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MountainMoose Oct 2019
Hugs to you and your family and your grandmother, Vanessa.

I guess I was "lucky" in the time leading up to Mom's passing, I had no idea it was coming until one day we (me and my two sisters) and Mom had a rousing game of Rummy. It popped in my head that this might be Mom's last hurrah. I put her to bed that evening and she never woke up. She passed three days later.
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I am so sorry for what your grandmother, and your whole family, are going through. Now, is the time to have a heart-to-heart talk with her.

Is there anything she wants or needs to say to family members or friends? Is there anything you and your family want her to know, such as "we'll be okay", "I love you", "I always loved how you did X"? Or just talk with her, read to her. Do this even if she's unconscious. She can still hear you.

Be kind to her and each other. This is likely harder on you all than your grandmother. Be peaceful around her.

Post photos of loved ones, including those who have passed on, around her.

If she's religious, ask for her priest or clergy to speak with her.

As hard as it is to step away, do so. Sometimes having solitude may be welcome to the dying. There are many people who wait until they're alone before they pass away.

I'm guessing your grandmother's on hospice. Use them. They're amazing people. They can tell you what you may expect. They can give you counseling to ease your heart.

You and your family have the gift of giving your grandmother one last gift, that of helping her on her final journey.

Peace to you all.
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I am so sorry for your difficult week. I suggest you consider reducing your vigil to 1-2 persons at a time; one can stay in the room with your grandmother leaving one free to take a brief walk or pick up meals and/or coffee. You might want to bring an old photo album to the nursing home and look through the old pictures while you wait. Your grandmother's children might have some interesting stories to share about some of those old pictures.
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