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I'm having a consultation with a doula tomorrow as I explore this as a helpful form of additional support as my dad's time draws near. Would be interested in any experiences anyone would like to share if you have worked with a doula before. Thanks!

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Not personally, but I have seen both birth and death doulas being interviewed on television. I think it’s a valuable service.

I hope that you will find the answers to your concerns. I wish you peace as you continue on this journey.
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I do not have personal experience with using a doula. I do have a relative who is a doula, she’s a very kind person. I know that her training to be a doula consisted only of another doula sharing what she does in the role. There has never been any other training.
I was with my father throughout his final days on hospice in his home, and came away convinced that dying is very much a solo journey. In the end, though I was holding his hand, he’d long gone to another place. Decide what you’re comfortable with and follow that. I wish you peace
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Please consider joining FEN (FinalExit.org).
Look it up online. 50.00 for a year membership and you are supporting Final Exit and their excellent work.
You will read not only about Final Exit's "Guides" but about Doulas as well. They are wonderfully helpful. But like all people doing this work they vary personally one from another, so the consultation is a great idea.

If you are considering VSED I recommend The VSED Handbook by Kate Christie, on Amazon for about 14.00 with excellent resource guide at the back.

Good luck. Tell us how it goes and what you learn, because YOU will be the EXPERT now on this.
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How was your experience with the doula? Please share with us if it was what you expected it to be and if you were satisfied.
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rsparksva Feb 16, 2024
Hi! Yes, we met yesterday and she is wonderful. In addition to being a trained palliative care professional, she has been a hospice liaison for a local hospital for years and she has completed the training that exists to date for this type of work. I am her client in this vs my father who is on hospice, but she also met him briefly yesterday to get a sense of him and his current comfort and will come back tomorrow. Talking with her is like having another set of eyes and ears - not to second guess hospice, but to get underneath anything that may be raising doubts or questions that I haven't asked them for any reason. She will also be here as much or as little as I ask as my dad's final days approach, whether that is to sit with me or sit with Dad, or both. She'll also help me look at how I want this chapter to close for me, especially given I am an only child and Dad is my surviving parent.

I'm fortunate to have many friends who are providing amazing support right now too, but this is different and welcome support as well. Sort of like having a professional coach (which I am too, but focused on leadership) to accompany me on my journey through end-of-life caregiving and grief. I wish I had contacted her sooner.

In the bonus department, we didn't know it until we met, but we also share the same faith tradition and have a number of people and experiences in common in that arena of our lives. I chose her from the doula directory but feel her presence in my life at this particular time and beyond is a God wink.
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Daughter,

I have a niece that is on the opposite end of the spectrum. She’s a birth doula. It’s an interesting line of work.
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