Latelyy my father was taking Loritab for pain. One night he went into a violent rage and we ended up having him admitted to the hospital. The doctors took him off Loritab and all was well for abou 3 weeks. He has lashed out agin at my mother accusing her of running a prostitue ring and has threathen to kill her. We have removed all guns and knives form the house. He remembers what he has said to my mother, but he really believes my mother is running an illegal business. He gets mad at me when I try to talk to him and accusing my mother of telling me everything. He gets violent and my mother strats crying and this seems to make him worse.
What can I do to help my dad? Is there a psychotic drug available? He is on several medications for his heart. When he is in his 'right mind', he is great to be around...
Be very careful in looking for a drug. Instead lead to distract and move away from his reach if he becomes physical. Most often this behavior is because of an unmet need. He had difficulty letting you know what he wants, maybe. Remember what you know already: "When he is in his 'right mind', he is great to be around...", right?
Patience, love, and understanding of this condition is critical to surviving each stage with your father.
Above all, be careful. I know of a case where a formerly loving husband became agitated and verbally abusive to his wife. It escalated over a period of months, but no one thought he was capable of physically abusing her. He, too, was such a nice person when lucid. But, one day, he flew off the handle over some innocent comment his wife made and he struck her with his cane and knocked her to the ground. She broke her hip and recovery was long and difficult. Never assume that your father wouldn't be dangerous to your mom or you. When he's not of right mind he is not the father you trust.
First, this is not "general age-related decline." Poor Dad has something seriously wrong. I'd guess dementia, but I don't even play a doctor on tv! A profesional diagnosis is needed.
Second, while this behavior may indeed stem from an "unmet need," it is very unlikely that you or your mother will be able to determine what that need is and meet it while Dad is waving a cane over your head, or grabbing at your throat. It is CRITICAL that you take steps to protect yourselves.Reread what alwayslearning and IsntEasy wrote. Some really good advice there! People in this kind of rage do not realize their own strength, and also inability to understand consequences make this a dangerous situation.
Next, do keep in mind that this is Not Your Fault. Love and patience and understanding are indeed important. But Dad's behavior is not a result of a lack of love or patience or understanding. Dad's behavior is not under your control and even influencing it may be very difficult to impossible when he is in one of his violent moods.
Also, if this is dementia it may be temporary, and perhaps it will be replaced by other behaviors. But you all have to survive this phase first! Do not try to wait it out, witout getting medical help and taking appropriate steps to protect yourselves.
Corinne
Give a Hug
It sounds as though what might help is an inpatient psychiatric evaluation and medication adjustment. This way, doctors who are experienced in dealing with these sorts of issues can sort out what works for his situation.
I would not wait. You know how they say e0% of caregivers die before their charges do? My elderly aunt kept the physical abuse her very sweet husband was subjected her to out of shame. By the time my cousins got him into memory care, it had taken its toll. She died several months later of a massive heart attack. He lived for anothher 3 years. Please get some help for your mom. Call tomorrow.