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I want to find out what services would be most helpful for my parents. My parents are living at home and my father has alzheimers. My mother is hesitant to place my father. My siblings are at odds as to what would be most helpful for my parents.

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Hi, many on this site have been through your circumstances before. Here is my 2 cents! There are care management services that will assess your parent's needs. Typically, it includes nurses and aides. And, if you and your sibs are not local, it may be the way to begin.
Much depends upon your parent's finances and living arrangements. Is there money to bring aides into the home? Are the kids/grandkids near enough to help out? Is there a suitable adult day care facility that would give your Mom some respite a few days a week? Typically, these type of services are used before a facility placement.
Can you tell us more? Your parent's ages? Current challenges? etc As a first step, can you or your sibs spend a few days with your parents (staying overnight) to see what the situation is? Often the well parent downplays the situation and the kids are horrified when they get a true picture.
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Have any of you been to a doctor's appointment with mom and dad? Finding out what his MD thinks might be a good first step. And how that doctor, if s/he thinks mom's health is holding up is key.

True story. My aunt was "fine" caring for my uncle with dementia. One day, one of her grown sons paid her a surprise visit in Florida. He discovered her covered in bruises, uncle wanted to get out and wander on the interstate. He was beating her black and blue for the key.

The kids hired a geriatric care manager who found an excellent memory care facility. Dadly, my aunt died of a massive heart attack a couple of months after he was placed. He lived happily for several more years.

The point of this is...worry about mom. Get a geriatric care manager whom she trustscand can talk to.
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