Just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to find a facility for their elderly parent? My mom is turning 80 at the end of the month, and I'm 50. I've been caring for her for the last 6 months, and I just can't do it anymore. She's got early signs of dementia, and it's like groundhogs day every minute with the questions. I'm working from home full-time and taking care of her full-time. I haven't slept through the night in months, and it's really starting to wear on me.
My mom is on a fixed income, and currently resides in NH. I'm trying to find somewhere in CA that will accept her, but the wait is long, and I'm not sure I can wait long-term.
Any suggestions appreciated!
Have you researched care in NH?
Is she willing to give you DPOA in order to care for her when she is no longer able to make decisions for herself?
If the answer is no, no, no than your ability to change things anytime soon is probably very limited.
She is in a vulnerable stage in life where it is difficult to be proactive on her behalf. Often family has to wait for “the fall” or other event that renders the LO helpless to resist efforts to help find alternate care.
Wishing you success in getting mom in to be tested for the issues you are observing and to a certified elder attorney to get her legal documents in order if those aren’t done.
My mom is on a fixed income, so she doesn't have the funds for private care.
I've researched care in NH, but I don't want her there. She moved there from NY to be near my sister, but my sister came back to CA 6 years ago. My mom is on her own there with no family or friends, so best thing to do is move her here.
I have POA already, so all set there thankfully :)
Happy Thanksgiving!
A geriatric care manager would be able to assist you as well. Google "geriatric care manager". A GCM receives extensive training in all things elderly, would also receive payment from a facility for a placement.
Also contact your local Council of Governments Area Agency on Aging or Department of Human Services. Those agencies can offer assistance in identifying resources that would be helpful to you and mom.
Before you move mom, see an elder law attorney. There may be requirements for residency prior to being able to get local resources for her. And does Medicare transfer without a wait? Probably so. But ask about Medicaid that could be an exercise to make sure everything is done correctly
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
My mom doesn't have any friends. She's always been a bit of a recluse and prefers the TV to live people.
I would definitely want her close to me, as I don't plan on just dropping her off somewhere and forgetting about her.
I may have her move in with me for a year and have someone come in to check on her until I can find her a suitable place.
Thanks again for the advice.
Happy Thanksgiving!