My mom has a caregiver that was fired for skipping shifts. This caregiver was also an alcohol enabler for my mother. She has continued to visit my mother at her apartment despite the home health company threatening her with a cease and desist for continuing services to my mom after termination of employment. I'm at a loss of what to do. It's not my apartment or property so I can't file a restraining order. I don't care if this caregiver comes over and provides company to my mom but buying wine for my mom and serving it to her is effectively providing services and also goes against my mom's care plan which is no booze.
Is there anything I can do to protect my mom? I already have cameras in there.
Do you live locally to her?
"I don't care if this caregiver comes over and provides company to my mom but buying wine for my mom and serving it to her..." She is not there to keep her company but to take advantage of her. She knows your mom's care plan and doesn't care.
Your Mom apparently, according to your assessment, has a drinking problem. You can't control that. I would attend Al-Anon just to let you get how helpless you actually are. Until Mom goes down, breaking a hip or some other bones, there is likely little you can do; even then, when all is said and done, and rehab is over, there is nothing to change things your Mom doesn't wish changed.
I am so sorry you are going through this. But your Mom is either competent or she is not. If she is not she should not be alone living independently. That would give some power to someone.
So sorry you are going through this. I wish you the best. And your Mom as well.
If mom has been diagnosed with dementia you should be able to file a restraining order especially if you are power of attorney.
If she is healthy,lucid and wants her company there is nothing you can do. I would install Nest cameras to monitor activities when mom is alone. We installed for elderly aunt to monitor her care and possible falls.
Someone mentioned changing the locks but this will not help if momma is letting her in.
Call Adult Protective Services?
No, there really isn't anything you can do except talk to her former caregiver/friend who visits and ask (not tell) her to stop bringing wine for your mom. Let her know that you appreciate that she was more than just a hired caregiver to you mom. That she became a friend and stayed one. Then ultimately it will be up to your mother. It's her choice whether she wants to drink or not. Honestly though from what you say in your profile about how bad off your mother is from a stroke, does it really matter if she has a few drinks at this point?
Maybe ask her friend to not let her get loaded on the wine. Maybe she would be willing to water it down for your mom.
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