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She was able to get my aunt to a beauty salon to get her hair done. Cousin sent pictures of aunt. It's amazing how she got my aunt up and out to do that. When I would visit aunt, I couldn't get her to do anything. Not even to sit in her back yard. This tells me all along that aunt should have named this niece, my cousin her POA. I had told aunt that before, and not sure how I got dragged into the drama having live so far, and not to mention she doesn't listen or let me help her. I think it was a control issue on aunt's part.
Also, when I last spoke with aunt, I was met with the same defiant attitude that she will not be listening to me, nor will I be telling her what to do. I haven't visited her in a while to avoid frustration. I have asked aunt if she needed me to send her anything, she said no.
Oh. Aunt has help twice a week for one hour. She definitely needs more than that, but I am staying out of it. I'm out of the will and since she seems to be letting cousin assist, I'm glad. Just don't ask me to visit and deal with defiance. 🫡

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Yay for you! Continue to keep that strong boundary of not getting involved. Maybe don't call her just to see if she calls you first? Absence may make her heart grow... more appreciative?
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BurntCaregiver Nov 2023
No, it won't Geaton. It will only make her heart grow more defiant.
My guess is the other niece who took her to the beauty parlor got an earful about what a horrible person the OP is. The cousin is probably too kind to tell her though.
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Thanks for the update, Tired. Appreciated. Glad to hear some good news.

If I recall you did resign your POA? I certainly hope you did. This must all be a great relief for you. Continued best wishes.
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Tiredniece23 Nov 2023
I did give it up, yes. She's miffed, but I had to do what's best for me.
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Amen. Agree totally. Thanks for the update.
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Yes, I agree, that this niece needs to be POA. But, I wouldn't be for this woman. Your family seems to think that POA holds the person assigned responsible to fetch and carry and be willing to give up their life for this woman. Maybe niece would be better off just doing for the Aunt when she feels like it.

Be glad you are out of the picture. Let Aunt come to you and don't feel you have to do for her. I too would love to know why she chose you in the first place?
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Interesting update. It’s very kind of you, TiredNiece, to care about your aunt despite all her shenanigans. I’m glad there is at least some sort of loose framework of care in place for her.

About the will— I’m guessing aunt’s care is going to wind up using any and all $$$ she happens to have. And of course, some older people have credit card debt, mortgages, reverse mortgages, other liens, or complex situations where multiple family members actually own a property, etc. Also, members of this forum before have told of cantankerous elders holding the prospect of The Will over people’s heads, for what turn out to be ludicrously small amounts of money for all the time and trouble involved.
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Tiredniece23 Nov 2023
Yes. I think you're right regarding the Will. I doubt there will be anything left, and even if she did leave me out, I'd be ok, either way.
I'm glad she has some home care, after all. It's not enough, but better than nothing.
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Good to hear the update!

If I had a crystal ball, I may see how many future cousins will be nominated POA, favoured... not do as Aunt wants, dropped & cut from her will.

Ahh, got my 'Black Hat' of negative thinking on tonight 😜
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Tiredniece23 Nov 2023
😁 LOL.
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